You see, something happened last night where we fell into a wormhole and transported into the future by an hour. It happens all the time. One minute the clock reads 5:45 pm and the next it’s going on 7:00 and “Cheese and crackers!” The table looks like Jackson Pollock exploded all over it, I forgot to put the biscuits in the oven, the kids still need baths, my son has no clean clothes and I think I’m hyperventilating. TOMORROW IS SCHOOL!!!
My husband sees I’m nearing panic mode and jumps into action, ordering our little artist to clean up her mess, setting the table, making a pitcher of punch (Did I mention I need to get groceries too?) and herding us all to the table. Only I have to bolt back to the kitchen for the biscuits that smell as if they are burning, and in a sense they are – slightly blackened on the outside, doughy in the middle. Grrr! I turn off the oven and let them sit for a little while to finish cooking on the inside before my brilliant hubby serves them upside down on the platter so the kids won’t notice the black.
Just as we rejoin the family and take a deep collective breath, our daughter accidentally dumps her migraine-inducing Bubba Gump glass of electric orange punch, drowning her chicken. Seriously, that cup has been nothing but trouble since day one. We were dining at the seafood chain while on a mini-vacation with the kids a couple of years ago. We thought, why not spend a bucket of money on a cheap piece of plastic? We were on vacation after all. Well, let us be a cautionary tale for all others tempted by the fancy shrimp in a top hat and flashing blue and red lights.
Not five minutes after the waiter delivered our drinks our son barely hit the glass and it spilled. Thank goodness for the Bubba Gump wait staff and bar towels. They cleaned up everything, assured us it was no trouble at all and replaced our son’s soda. Phew. That was embarrassing. We sure didn’t want that to happen again. In fact, I was going to make sure we didn’t have another accident by moving the glass out of the way. Yep. I bumped it and flooded the whole table again. Remember what I said before about embarrassing? Well, let’s just say I wanted to crawl under the table.
But back to last night. In the end, we managed to get both kids clean and in bed on time, although the little one kept getting up. And my son’s clothes went in the dryer at 10:35. Hooray! Another crisis averted. I would have patted myself on the back, but I was too tired to reach over my shoulder.
I know no one ever said it was easy, but must life be so hectic? I’m on a mission this school year to make life a little simpler, um, staring today. I could really use all the tips I can get.
Please tell me, what is something that has made your life easier?