Every Tuesday I park in the two-hour parking across the street from the hospital, pop the ear buds for my iPod in my ears, crank the music and make the trek in for staffing. And on my walk, mainly in high-heeled boots since it is fall, I imagine how cool it would be if I could move in slow motion with the wind lifting my hair away from my face, theme music thumping in the background.
The drivers yielding to pedestrians might not find the slo-mo thing great, but maybe they would love some other special effect you see in the movies. Maybe they’d think it would be cool to launch their vehicle from a ramp and soar over the cross-traffic and the excruciatingly slow lady in kick-butt black boots in the crosswalk. I could lift my hand in the air as this car glides over me like that boy in Free Willy did when the killer whale leapt over him. Crud! What just dripped on me? Is that oil?
Ooh, and what if I could run on walls like in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? That would be awesome. Here comes my kid with sticky fingers targeting my white t-shirt. Clomp, clomp, clomp up the drywall! Woo hoo! Better luck next time, sucker eater. And just think how easy it would be to clean the cobwebs from the corner of a room.
Or, you’re corned at a party by the most boring person on the planet who won't stop talking about his quest for the perfect shoe horn. Suddenly, a dazed look comes over you. Your mouth gapes. Intense violin music swells in the background. You look at him. His lips are moving, but you can’t hear a thing. The ground begins spinning. Spinning faster and faster until, miraculously, centrifuge flings the dullard through some hidden portal into another dimension - I’m guessing this is what happens because how else can you explain his rapid disappearance. You, however, are completely unaffected, aside from a tiny bit of dizziness cured by squeezing your eyes tightly together and issuing a small shake of the head. Wouldn’t that be great?
If life did come with special effects, what effect would you like to employ and how would you use it?