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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Life in 3D

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if it came with movie special effects? I have, almost every Tuesday for a month. You see, Tuesdays are the only mornings I'm required to make an appearance at the office. The rest of the time, I work out of my home.

Every Tuesday I park in the two-hour parking across the street from the hospital, pop the ear buds for my iPod in my ears, crank the music and make the trek in for staffing. And on my walk, mainly in high-heeled boots since it is fall, I imagine how cool it would be if I could move in slow motion with the wind lifting my hair away from my face, theme music thumping in the background.

The drivers yielding to pedestrians might not find the slo-mo thing great, but maybe they would love some other special effect you see in the movies. Maybe they’d think it would be cool to launch their vehicle from a ramp and soar over the cross-traffic and the excruciatingly slow lady in kick-butt black boots in the crosswalk. I could lift my hand in the air as this car glides over me like that boy in Free Willy did when the killer whale leapt over him. Crud! What just dripped on me? Is that oil?

Ooh, and what if I could run on walls like in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? That would be awesome. Here comes my kid with sticky fingers targeting my white t-shirt. Clomp, clomp, clomp up the drywall! Woo hoo! Better luck next time, sucker eater. And just think how easy it would be to clean the cobwebs from the corner of a room.

Or, you’re corned at a party by the most boring person on the planet who won't stop talking about his quest for the perfect shoe horn. Suddenly, a dazed look comes over you. Your mouth gapes. Intense violin music swells in the background. You look at him. His lips are moving, but you can’t hear a thing. The ground begins spinning. Spinning faster and faster until, miraculously, centrifuge flings the dullard through some hidden portal into another dimension - I’m guessing this is what happens because how else can you explain his rapid disappearance. You, however, are completely unaffected, aside from a tiny bit of dizziness cured by squeezing your eyes tightly together and issuing a small shake of the head. Wouldn’t that be great?

If life did come with special effects, what effect would you like to employ and how would you use it?


  1. Fantastic post, Samantha! I love thinking about life this way. If I could choose any special effect, it would be the rewind, so I could go back and fix things.

  2. Clarissa,

    You are so right. Life should come with a rewind button. I think my button might get worn out. :)

  3. Oh, this is fun. I would like the ability to transport myself from one place to another in the blink of an eye. No more driving or rushing.

  4. I'm with Amy. Apparition would be fantastic. LOL. That way, when I was tired of being somewhere, I could just turn on the spot and be out of there. I'd also rather enjoy the use of a fast forward button--for those times when I'm bored to tears, but can't really get away with apparating myself away.

  5. There is only one special effect for me: flying! I have lived it in my dreams, but boy it would be awesome to live it in real life. Just me and superman. Oh, and ET. And several x-men. Shoot, then there are all those kids from Hogwarts...

  6. Amy and Catherine,
    I've always wished for the power to teleport myself. If I had that power, I'd pop in to see my mom on a Sunday, maybe catch a movie. And fast forward could come in handy too.

    Sounds like the skies are getting crowded! Watch out for brooms. :)

  7. I keep thinking about swinging over the traffic like spiderman! Woo hoo! Love this topic btw. Oh and I would so use the slow down button in the mornings when I wake my two year old because he's so sweet before he really wakes up and the terrible two's hit him. That's mommy and baby time to hug and kiss and I would love to enjoy it for just a few seconds longer every morning. Time flies by too fast as it is and I keep wondering where the heck did the day go?

  8. I don't know if this is a special effect, but I would like for a perfectly composed soundtrack to follow me around, songs just coming down from the heavens to perfectly match my mood or situation. :D And also, for all hot men to make their entrance (and exit) in slow motion... so I can have extra time to enjoy them. ;)

  9. Samantha,
    This is such a fun post! I'd like to be able to fly! I've always wanted to fly ever since seeing Mary Poppins!

  10. Melissa,
    How sweet. I agree it would be nice to have the snuggle time last. And I can totally see you swinging over traffic.

    I LOVE your special effects, especially the slo-mo for the hot guys. LOL. Now that's clever!

    Wasn't Mary Poppins the best? And how cute you'd look flying around with an umbrella. :)

  11. Weirdly enough, although super powers would be cool, i think i would like to control the light-west coast sunsets, sparkling lights on Christmas, the hazy dream light of memory, these are the most "special" effects for me.

    But "special light" would be included in my Omnicience/omnipotence package so i probably opt for the supersaver deal. Nivek the demi-god

  12. LOL. I can appreciate a demi-god on a budget. Thanks so much for commenting. I love the creativity of your answer, and what beautiful phrasing, "the hazy dream light of memory."

  13. I'm going to be greedy. I want two. I'd like to teleport to see distant friends. But I'd also like to make the ground liquid to swallow up all the mean people. I might trap them half in half out until they decide to play nice again. I could achieve world peace that way! LOL
    Fun post

  14. Heather,

    Wow! I'm so going to be nice now just in case. :)

    Thanks for sharing your brillance with us today.