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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Slacker Tooth Fairy

The Tooth Fairy assigned to our family is a real slacker. Last week she missed a tooth pick-up twice. Same tooth. Two nights in a row! And this isn’t the first time she has been a no-show. I believe it may be her fourth. Quite frankly, I’m tired of making up excuses for why she doesn't do her job.

The first time T. F. failed to steal into our daughter’s room and snatch the tooth from under her pillow, we had a very disappointed little girl on our hands. I scrambled to come up with an explanation. There must have been lots of kids lose teeth the same day. Our daughter thought about it a second then said, “Yeah, it must be hard to get everyone’s teeth when she has to travel the whole world in one night.” Only Santa and the Easter Bunny are magical enough to pull that one off.

The second time proved T. F.'s failure to perform was not a fluke, but she showed at the last minute and saved the day. While the little one was in the bathroom, the Tooth Fairy snuck into the bedroom and made the exchange, much to our daughter's amazement. She had just checked under her pillow a minute earlier and discovered her tooth was still there. She couldn't believe no one saw the Tooth Fairy. The fairy was good, real good.

When our daughter lost her first front tooth, all she received was a lousy two dollars. Front teeth are worth more, right? I thought she made out pretty good considering all I ever received was a quarter for my teeth. I was wrong. Our daughter’s friend received a toy for her front tooth. Thanks a lot, overindulgent Tooth Fairy assigned to the neighbor girl. Are you trying to make our fairy look bad? My response to our daughter was, “Yeah, ours doesn’t do that. It’s not in her contract.”

So this past week, our daughter lost an eye tooth, correctly called a canine according to her. After two nights of no tooth exchange, my husband and I had to come up with a good excuse. Fortunately, her other canine was loose, so we told her T. F. only comes when there are two canines to pick up. Well, Sunday our daughter lost that other stubborn tooth that had been dangling and grossing out the rest of the family for a couple of weeks, put it under her pillow, and the Tooth Fairy came. Of course, it was almost midnight because the little munchkin wouldn’t fall asleep. I finally had to tell our daughter that children not fast asleep by midnight miss out because the Tooth Fairy is a working girl, and she always has lot of things to do on Mondays.

The Tooth Fairy left five dollars under the pillow. (She was assessed a late fee. That ought to teach her.) Five dollars!! Woo hoo! Our daughter never had a five dollar bill before, but she just had one question. Why didn't the Tooth Fairy bring her a toy? *Slapping forehead*

Do you ever find yourself trying to keep up with the Joneses when it comes to your kids, or are you the Joneses? How do you explain it when other kids get more than yours?


  1. My son came hone from a friend's house and told me that his friend had gotten $20 for his first tooth. Are you KIDDING me?! So, when my son's tooth came out and he got $5 (for the first ONLY), he was disappointed, but we turned it around just by being so excited that the TF showed up at all. Now he gets $1 for each tooth that comes out, and I think that's fine. Whenever I hear "but JOE got this" or "but JOE is allowed to do that", I just reply with "That's great, but that's not how we do things in our family". It's become an answer my son expects and understands, and so I don't hear it much anymore- he knows that all families are different, and he is learning he has it better than many. If my kids come out of childhood with just ONE lesson learned, I hope that they understand how good they have it and that the world isn't equal, and they need to be aware and help others less fortunate. :)

  2. Too funny! After reading this we (my oldest daughter and I) started looking at tooth fairy costumes as it is her intention of wearing a costume when in this role! Lots of fun surfing the net this am with her. Thanks for the segway!

  3. OMG, Samantha, I'm LMAO. You guys are *hilarious*

    Bella's not quite old enough for TF visits…she's still trying to grow the little buggers. But we did find ourselves scouring the baby doll aisle to find the *perfect* baby for her since her friend has one and Bella was always trying to steal it for herself.

    And so it begins… :)

  4. Olivia,

    Twenty dollars for a tooth??? That's insane!

    You are so wise, and what a great lesson for your kids. We've taken a similar approach. When our kids ask why our family doesn't do what so-and-so's family does, I tell them it's because their friend's have awesome parents and our kids are stuck with us. They both laugh and that's the end of it. Sometimes our daughter will add, "Well, we do have a hot tub." :)

  5. Tess,

    I'm so glad my blog led to a fun moment with you and your daughter. Y'all are going to have a blast with the little one playing Santa, EB, Tooth Fairy... Kids bring back the magic.

    Thanks for leaving a comment. Now I feel all warm and fuzzy. :)

  6. Jerrica,

    I love that Bella knows what she wants. She's a girl after my own heart. lol

  7. What do y'all mean playing Santa, EB and Tooth Fairy????

    Great blog post, Samantha!

  8. Oops! Sorry, Marquita. Obviously that was a huge typo. Um, we meant playing WITH Santa, EB and the Tooth Fairy. Yeah, that's what we were saying. Now close your eyes, click your heels and repeat after me, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."

    *Phew! Crisis averted, I think.

  9. My son got wise real early. Perhaps too early. There's no more tooth fairy hopping in my house these days. Mum does the hopping and gets hugs for the spoils left. LOL. Not a bad exchange really!

  10. Heather,

    That is one job I would be very glad to give up, especially if I get the credit for being awesome. :)