Life's been rough lately. I can't even try to hide it, not in real life, because I've randomly been bursting into tears at the oddest moments, and I've been unable to concentrate on the things I need to concentrate on, and I tell random strangers things about my life that they never wanted or needed to know.
The things going on on the inside have been finding a way out, whether it is the way I wanted them to come out or not.
Now, I'm not telling you this for sympathy or anything like that. We all go through rough patches, and we all find ways to deal with them. I'm no different. I'm finding ways to cope. (And yes, if you're wondering, I'm seeking counseling during this traumatic time.)
No, I'm talking about this because it has found another, slightly annoying, means of coming out of me.
It's coming out in my writing.
The project I'm currently working on was supposed to be happy. Sunshine and rainbows, and all that other stuff. Yeah, that hasn't happened. I'm still finding ways to put humor into it, but the characters and the plot have gone a very different direction than what I envisioned before I sat down and put fingers to keys.
My hero all of a sudden has a dark and tortured path. And my heroine's entire world was just ripped out from under her, leaving her a crying, pained mess. Much like me.
No, what is going on with her is not the same thing as what is going on with me...but the emotions are all the same, the whole big bag of random, unexplainable, annoying emotions that have lately taken over my life.
I'm not sure if, subconsciously, I'm trying to deal with them myself through dealing with them with this character. Maybe some small part of me thinks that if she gets a happy ending, I will too. One can only hope that is the case. :) But at least I can be sure my heroine gets one.
As a writer, have you ever had something similar happen, where your current situation somehow bleeds onto the page? As a reader, do you find yourself drawn to books that convey the emotions you're experiencing in your real life, or do you prefer the opposite? Have you ever put down a book or a writing project because it hit too close to home?