Our Pages

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

What might life be like without ... kids

From the outset, I must stress that I am in no way annoyed with my rugrats. I have two boys—one now an adult, one who sounds like he is. They are great children, fun to talk to and they still give their boring mum hugs (when no one can see them do it, of course).

But I got to thinking about what my life might have been like if I’d ignored the clucky urge all those years ago. At the time, the decision to have kids seemed a natural, normal thing but not everyone thinks so. A few my friends chose not to have kids and I swear the looks I used to get as I was turning from career-minded woman to mother of one annoyed me no end.

So what exciting stuff would I have missed out on without kids in my life?

Boy stuff: teenage hormones, temper tantrums, Pokemon, cubby houses, Ben 10, Thomas the Tank Engine (movies and train set play), freezing my butt off at Saturday morning soccer.

Life stuff: Parent teacher interviews, school plays, unbelievable reasons for detention, pocket money, the big Christmas, Easter Egg Hunts, School formals, the sex talk, revisiting the smurfs!

The gross stuff: Can boys ever get their wee in the toilet bowl? Nappies, nappies, milky vomit, runny noses, sweaty boy hugs, teething and temperatures. Midnight hospital visits (Oh, wait. Nope. Those midnight trips were ALL for my husband)

The best stuff: hugs for no reason, hugs morning and night, chasing them round the house (even when they are 18), talking in the kitchen, kitchen disasters, watching them fall asleep, unwrapping presents together on Christmas morning, bouncing on THEIR beds, making mad voices and having them look at you like you’re insane.

As I sat at dinner tonight, cracking enough jokes that my eldest had to leave the table because he was laughing far too hard (and still had food in his mouth) I concluded that I might have made the right decision to have kids. I mean, what other job can you do in this world where you take a small spark of life and mould it into something you can be incredibly proud of?

Oh, yeah – that’s right. I do that in my day job too. I’m also a full-time writer. Today I achieved another milestone in my life, my ninth ebook published, my second regency gay romance (Barely a Master) is unleashed upon the world. But how exactly did I celebrate? I told my family, the people that matter most. I got hugs from hubby, double thumbs up from the eldest boy and a huge grin from the smallest one. And while my cat rubbed around my ankles, I tossed another load of washing on. There really is nothing like being a parent to keep your ego in check, is there? What do you do to celebrate those big moments in your life?

~ Lady Wicked ~


  1. Congrats on the release of Barely a Master! As for parenthood, I couldn't agree more. Even during some frustrating moments (teenagers) nothing is more special than the Best Stuff.

  2. congrats on your release !!!

  3. Congrats on your release, Heather! I have not enjoyed parenthood...but aunthood is fabulous, for all of those good reasons you mentioned. He's getting old enough that we're getting all the sweaty, stinky boy hugs and whatnot...but at least I'm still getting the hugs.

  4. Yay! Congrats on the new release, Heather!!

    I'm currently in the teething/temper tantrum phase of parenthood, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. My little girl is the light of our lives - she makes us laugh on a minute-to-minute basis, even when she's face-down on the floor, screaming because Daddy took her sweatshirt off…even though she asked him to…??? Maybe one day we'll actually understand her. lol.

  5. Jane - I often look at my eldest and think, wow, I might have been a good parent. He still hugs me. LOL

    Regina - (ooh, am writing a short story with a Regina) - thanks for the congratulations!

    Catherine - I had aunthood first too. It just gets better when they are your own kids. LOL.

    Jerrica - I will NEVER understand tantrums. My eldest had a temper when he was younger and I'd often be stunned/bemused by his behavior. He's mellowed nicely now so I can offer you the hope that she'll grow out of them one day.

  6. I had an eleven hour day at work today, which didn't put me home until 7 pm. As I was driving home, I recalled the days before kids when I worked crazy hours because I had no one waiting for me at home. I hated not being with my family this evening, and I ended up cuddling with my daughter for an hour non-stop. If my teenage son would let me cuddle him, I would have had him in my lap, too, even though he would crush me. But I did give him a big kiss on the cheek, which he didn't wipe off. :-)

  7. Aweful day at work, huh? I can give you some hope. My eldest sat on my knee the other day. All 6 feet of him. Im in recovery now and should have the use of my legs back any second. LOL