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Sunday, January 8, 2012

Brag About Your Kid(s) Day!

Okay, I'm just going to come right out and say it…my kid rocks! Yes, I know…everyone feels that way about their own kid(s) at some point or another, but seriously, my kid is totally the best! :)

My little girl turned two on Christmas Day (which makes her doubly special ;)) And ever since her birthday, I've been amazed by just how awesome she's becoming. Okay, okay, I'll stop saying that she's just "awesome" and get down to some details…

Number One: She sings Ring Around the Rosie. Okay, sure, lots of kids sing Ring Around the Rosie, but no one does it like Bella. She bounds around and around in giant, spasmodic circles (spasmodic being the key word here), shouting at the top of her lungs, "ROOOOOSIE, ROOOOOOOSIE, ROOOOOOSIE, ROOOOOOOSIE." If that's not cute, I'm not sure what is…even if she is singing about the Black Plague (which she's actually not, but our nanny got reprimanded on the playground for teaching Bella such a horrible song. *eye roll* Mind your own beeswax, lady!)

Number Two: At the ripe age of two years and one day, she fell in love. No, I'm not kidding. It's already begun. Am I happy about it? Well, let me just say that it was with a boy 11 years her senior, with dark skin, whose name is Jacob. Did I mention my daughter's name is Bella? My husband kept muttering under his breath, "If he imprinted on her, so help me…" #Twilight

But really, all kidding aside, Bella was infatuated with this kid at first sight. If he was around, she had to be near him, holding his hand or in his arms. If he wasn't around, she was talking about him -- "Jay-cub? Jay-cub?" Poor Jacob. He was such a good sport, considering all he really wanted to be doing was playing video games with my nephew :)

3) She knows how to b*tch slap. That's right. And no, I didn't teach her that. The kind of skill this kid has can't be taught. Yes, I know I shouldn't make light of her hitting, but please, let me set the scene….

A quiet Sunday morning, the three of us lazing about in bed. Cartoons on quietly in the background while the kitty purrs at my feet. Bella and I are having fun giggle time while Eric tries to catch a few more moments of sleep. And then…Bella, with the cutest smile you've ever seen, reaches out, and before I can stop her, b*tch slaps my husband. It echoes throughout the room as I stare dumbfounded at Eric, waiting to see what he's going to do. Finally, he grabs the pillow, buries his face in it, and starts laughing uncontrollably. Every time I open my mouth to reprimand Bella for hitting, I burst out laughing myself. That's right…bring on the Parents of the Year awards! The plaque should read: For their inability to keep a straight face when their daughter b*tch slapped her father.

Okay, enough about me and my little princess…it's your turn now. Brag away. Tell me your favorite stories about your kids, whether they be human or furry. What makes them special?

-Jerrica, Her Grace of Grammar


  1. Jerrica,
    I can't believe someone reprimanded your nanny for teaching Bella Ring Around the Rosie, but it reminds me of a story about our son when he was three. (He turned 14 on Saturday.) My husband was scolding him for something at the dinner table. He lowered his head and muttered, "Worry about yourself, Dad." LOL! He's been a joy and only gets more enjoyable as he ages. I'm probably most impressed with his witty sense of humor and confidence in who he is.

    Then my 9 year old daughter is the best. My favorite thing she's said to me lately is "You just get me and I get you." My heart melted.

  2. Jerrica, I cannot wait to get Olivia and Bella together some day. The princess-iness of that moment would cause a time warp I think!

  3. So unbelievably cute, Jerrica!

    When my daughter was 3 she told us she was sick. When I asked her what was wrong she (very seriously) told us that she had the country ass. I think it took Hot Builder and me a good ten minutes to figure out she meant HYPOCHONDRIAC. She'd heard Hot Builder call me that two days earlier.

    As for my 4 year old son, about two months ago he got a hair cut. Afterwards, we were driving home and he asked me to put down the window. Not even a minute later he asked me to put it back up. I glanced up at him in the rearview mirror in time to see him pat his hair and ask: Does my hair still look very awesome? hee!!!!

  4. Samantha, that's hilarious about your son! And your daughter is just the COOLEST! I hope Bella turns out as awesome as her!

    Lily, YES! That would be too much fun!

    Marquita, okay, country ass is now a "thing." I'm going to say it all the time. And your son sounds adorable…love it!

  5. Jerrica ~ I don't know if the comment box is unlimited in size, but it would have to be for me to tell you all the wonderful things about Brandt. An only child, he has always seemed very adult for his age. He has the driest sense of humor and his level of his sarcasm is to be admired (especially as it usually isn't directed at me.)

    As a very little boy, he would get VERY annoyed if people didn't say his name correctly. He would get "Grant" or "Brent" a lot. So the conversations would go like this:

    Random Adult: Well, hi. What is your name?
    Brandt: Brandt.
    Random Adult: Well, how old are you, Grant (or Brent depending on the random adult)?
    Brandt would then tap his chest like Tarzan trying to communicate with Jane and enunciate his name very clearly: Br - A - ndt.

    And he would not continue the conversation until they got his name correctly. CRACKED me up. Still does when I think about it.

  6. LOL! This is great stuff. Since I don't have a kiddo, I'll brag on my nephew.

    He's just turned four, and he's always trying to make sense of the world by asking adults lots of questions. One day recently when we were in the car, he asked me how fast I was driving. I told him the speed, and then he asked me why. (As all parents know, WHY is the most frequent and most annoying of all questions.) I informed him that I was driving that speed because it was the speed limit, so it was the rule (he understands rules better than laws). He nodded thoughtfully and sat there for a moment before asking, as serious as a heart attack, "So how fast do you drive when the pleece (police) is chasing you?"

    He's also learned already about negotiation. We were at Petsmart one day and looked at all the animals in the store. We stopped by the fish tanks, looked at the birds in the cages, went over to the hamsters and gerbils, and finally stopped by the cats waiting for adoption. The Monster LOVES kitties, so we spent a lot of time there. One of the cats, in particular (a HUGE male gray tabby), was very friendly, head-butting the bars of his cage and talking to us. The Monster fell in love. He wanted me to take this new kitty home with me. I told him I couldn't have any more cats. So again, he nodded thoughtfully for a moment and then gave me that all-too-serious look. Then he said, "Okay, how 'bout you go home and get Kiki and bring her here and leave her and then we can take this kitty home." Yep, the Monster was ready to trade Kiki, his first, bestest, most special buddy, in for a different model.

  7. Ha! Those are both GREAT stories, Catherine! The Monster sounds like a riot. But poor Kiki!! LOL!

  8. Awww...your little princess sounds darling, Jerrica!

    As my bio will attest, I have two handsome, genuinely amusing boys. :-) I could spend all day bragging on them, but I really am a proud mama. They are independent thinkers, mostly hard workers and so funny! :-) I love them to pieces, even when they are bickering.

  9. LOL I love all these stories! I have three wonderful boys, ages 19, 15 and a 4yr old. Needless to say my house is rarely silent unless they are all gone somewhere.

    I love my boys and would have probably been a horrible mother to a girl lol. But I have to brag that I must have done something right because my oldest just posted on my facebook page last week: I miss you, mom. He simply doesn't care what his friends think and he tells everyone he's a momma's boy. I love how confident he is in himself that he simply doesn't care what others think about him and he doesn't allow anyone else's opinion to influence what he says and does. Perhaps that's what has kept him out of trouble for 19 yrs.

    Of course, now that he's moved in with his dad he's realizing just how many little things mom did to make his life easier lol. Poor kid, now he has to do them all himself.

    Funny story of my 15yr old when he was three. He ran outside of the house to our next door neighbor's house one day dressed in nothing but his diaper and told our brand new neighbors that "mommy and daddy take showers together." LOL oh the horror. I didn't show my face for a week lol. To this day he's a blunt as ever and I love that he can tell it like it is. Smart kid.

    My 4yr old is shaping up to be lady's man already. He loves girls — all girls. I caught him last week flipping through the pages of the Victoria Secret Catalogue saying, "I want this one and this one. This one is mine." And no he wasn't talking about the clothes...LOL my little man is the biggest flirt ever. I foresee a slew of broken hearts in his wake in the future. Lock up your girls, for sure. LOL