Do you ever wish you had a time machine?
I always did.
(Until I saw the movie Time Machine. Those ape things scared the bejeezus out of me.)
I thought, how romantic. The idea of going back to the early 1800s, attending balls and horse races, wearing sweeping gowns and fanciful hats with waving ostrich plumes, sounded positively fabulous to me. Dressing for dinner, dancing all night, having tea and shopping? Right up my alley. Sign me up.
And then I got engaged. (That's right. I trapped me a man.) I was so excited to buy a wedding dress. I rushed to the nearest shop and purchased one.
A big, beautiful, frothy satin ballgown.
That's when the fatal flaw in my design became clear.
I would have to wear a corset. (Booo! Hiss!)
And petticoats- the kind that tie on. And the only way to get me in and out of that dress was the lacing up the back. (My new husband was not a fan of that.)
Again, sounds romantic, right?
Reality face-checked me like Wayne Gretzky going in for the kill. Like most things we have only read about but never tried (I'm not even going there), a corset was not anything like I'd imagined. Sure, it molded my squat Russian peasant body into a lovely hourglass shape, keeping the dress smooth and elegant, and making me feel like a princess.
But it hurt.
People, I had lines creasing my skin for hours after that tool of Satan came off. And my ribs ached for days. I cannot imagine what it must have been like to wear one of those suckers for years, day in, day out.
So, as much as I adore the Regency and Victorian periods of history, I don't think I'd choose to go back and actually live there. I'm too spoiled by my everyday conveniences.
(No Starbucks? No Barnes and Noble? No Twitter?! Noooo!)
Maybe forward. Maybe a thousand years from now, everyone is living in peace here and on other planets, with their own personal robots and driving a space ship.
So if you could hop in the DeLorean and time travel, where would you go? Would you choose going into the past or forward to the future?