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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Bootylicious

Two weeks ago I was watching late night television, which is very rare for me. I don’t watch a lot of tv, and maybe that’s for the best. But on this particular night, I was flipping through the channels and all of the sudden… HOLY BUM BUM, BATMAN! There was an infomercial about perfect booties and dancing.

On a beach.

A Brazilian beach!

I love dancing.

I’d love a perfect bum bum! (Pronounced boom boom, but it still means your bum.)

Brazil has always been on my list of places I want to see.

And beaches—well, there are umbrella drinks on beaches, right?

How could I possibly resist? I couldn’t. In the five minutes I watched the infomercial for the Brazil Butt Lift, I was sold. (Shouldn’t it be Brazilian Butt Lift, not Brazil? That bugs me a little, but you don’t buy the workout DVD to improve your grammar. You buy it because you’re seduced by the promise of a perfect behind.)

I ordered it from Amazon and my Brazil Butt Lift workout DVDs arrived along with my “Booty Makeover Guide”, “Booty Tools”, and “6-Day Supermodel Slimdown Plan” this Monday. (I’m pretty sure slim down is two words rather than one, but that’s okay.) When I opened the package, I was slightly surprised by the rather large photo of Leandro Carvalho. He looks all squinty-eyed on the infomercial, but in his picture, he has really pretty eyes.

The second surprise was that there is a test to see if you need a butt lift. Get out your pencils, ladies. Just your pencils. You’re not going to need paper for this test. (Even the booklet admits this sounds strange.) “Simply take the pencil and place it in the crease where your butt meets the top of the back of your thigh. If the pencil stays put or actually disappears, your butt lacks lift.”

I think if the pencil disappears, you have bigger problems than a saggy bottom. Stay calm and seek medical attention immediately.

The third surprise, which isn’t all that shocking really, is that supermodels have to work their butts off to have perfect bum bums. The Brazil Butt Lift workout regime totals approximately an hour a day, six days a week. You can break it up, but who wants to get sweaty twice in a day?

I did my first workout last night and I thought I was going to pass out. As with any exercise, though, I’m sure it will get much easier as I stick with it. And I can tell it’s a thorough workout. You tone muscles, it’s fast paced for cardio, and you have to balance, which means engaging your core muscles. There’s also a diet to follow. The recipes look pretty good, and there are easy snack ideas, including the best choices at a convenience store.

After looking over everything, I’ve come to the decision that perfection isn’t necessary. I can live with almost perfect. I figure even if I do thirty minutes a day, I will get some benefit from the exercises. And if I don’t, I’ll always have a place to hold my pencil.

Have you ever been tempted by an infomercial? If so, what was the product and did you buy it?

59 comments:

  1. Hi Samantha!

    Oh, goodness. No, I don't think that I've ever ordered anything off of a TV informercial, but that may be because it's been so long since I've seen one! :-) I do peruse the "As Seen on TV" aisle in Target, though! I was eyeing the Pajama Jeans the other day and thinking something so brilliant must be too good to be true. LOL!

    They use that pencil test to tell you whether you need a boob job, too, someone told me. I think I just need it ALL lifted!

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    1. Deb,

      I never thought of holding pencils under my boobs. But how perfect would that be??? ;D

      I've seen the pajama jeans in stores, too. And I tried the "Ahh Bra". LOL. It's comfy, but has very little support. I also tried those green bags that are supposed to keep your food fresh, but they didn't work.

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    2. Um...yeah...the boobs would make a pencil disappear for me. LOL. I don't even need to try that test. If anyone needs somewhere to hide their pencils, I'm your girl.

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    3. LMAO, Catherine! If I need to hide pencils, I'll ring you. LOL!

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    4. I'll be waiting for your call with great anticipation. LOL. Especially since the need to hide pencils runs rampant around these parts.

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    5. bwaahahaha -Catherine, that's hilarious :)

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  2. There is only one infomercial I've ever been tempted to buy from. I think it is called the 6 Week Body Makeover. It is where you take the picture and draw on the body parts you want to reduce and then there is diet and exercise for targeting those areas. Like Deb, I also check out the "As Seen on TV" items a the store. Those are always fun.

    You will have to keep us posted on how your lifting goes.

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    1. Jane,

      I don't think I've ever seen the 6 Week Body Makeover. I also bought Hip Hop Abs & I really like it. I love Shawn T! He has a great personality and he makes me laugh. Plus, the workout is fun.

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  3. LOl, Samantha! I do *not* want to try the pencil test.

    I have bought some of the sold on TV items, but only when they were deeply discounted. I got a BumpIt for my hair at Dollar Tree (it just got tangled in my hair and required the assistance of my husband to unsnare myself), the PediPaws at a thrift store (our dogs hate it) and those veggie storage bags at a salvage store (they don't work).

    Has anyone tried those flip flops that are supposed to tone your thighs and bum?

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    Replies
    1. Lily,

      I'm so disappointed to hear that about the Bumpit. I really wanted to rock a pony.

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  4. Hahaha! You actually bought it. I admit I have bought a few items. I love the pedi egg, Space Bags(great for travel) and that salon express nail stamper, but work out stuff no never.

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    Replies
    1. I've got some bag that are similar to the space bags that I use for travel, and I love them. :) They are great for helping me save space in the suitcase. Which reminds me, I need to go rewatch Erin's packing video a few times to remind myself how to pack before these conferences next month!

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    2. Misty,

      Yes, I gave in to temptation. LOL. I think the Space Bags look cool. I've seen them at Walmart. Maybe I should try them. :)

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  5. Oh. My. God! I can't stop laughing! I have TEARS in my eyes!

    "I think if the pencil disappears, you have bigger problems than a saggy bottom. Stay calm and seek medical attention immediately."

    I'm DYING here....

    Whew! Okay. No, I haven't ever been seduced by an infomercial. I'm sooo cynical. I never think it works, I always think they are all a bunch of scammers, lol! I hope yours works, though- and if it does, I'll buy it next. :D

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    Replies
    1. Olivia ~ you completely stole my reply. I always think they're selling a bill of goods and turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to them.

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    2. Olivia and Ava,

      I'm sure there many 'as seen on TV' products that don't work. Then I think maybe the person had a really good idea, but they couldn't find a company to buy their idea, so they took the brave step of putting it out there anyway. Besides, with only three easy payments of $19.99, it feels like you're spending a lot less than you are. ;D

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  6. My sister is the queen when it comes to falling for infomercials. LOL. I have never ordered anything from one, though I have come very close with Bare Escentuals. Instead of ordering that way, though, I found out they have a store in the area, and I went and tried it out. That's one that is worth it, ladies...I can promise you. Other than that, I do scour the As Seen on TV aisle at Target and WalMart occasionally. I got the Emery Cat, I think it's called...a scratching thing for cats that has emery board material instead of cardboard. Great idea, but my cats won't use it. I finally gave it to my sister, and her cat won't use it either.

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    Replies
    1. Catherine,

      I love Bare Escentuals! But like you, I buy from the store. It lasts a long time, so I make my purchase once a year when we visit Minneapolis in the spring. I've tried the other mineral make-up sold in department stores, and it's not the same, imo.

      I knew our cat would never use the Emery Cat. He used to climb on top of the scatching post to sharpen his claws on the woodwork. :)

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    2. OK, add me to the Bare Escentuals love. And I tried the Wen hair care system too, but it just made my hair really greasy. I was so disappointed, because I wanted to have Alyssa Milano hair.

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    3. Lily,

      I wanted to try Wen, so I'm glad to know I won't get Alyssa Milano hair that will flow down my back toward my totally awesome butt I'm going to have soon. ;)

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  7. I'm with Olivia…can't stop laughing! Love the post, Samantha!!

    I have been seduced by infomercials SOOOOOO many times. Let's see, I think it all started with an Ab Rocker, then there was the Turbo Cooker, Magic Bullet, Your Baby Can Read, Don Lapree System, Sauna Belt, Shake Weight, Cake Pops, Windsor Pilates…

    I'm SURE I'm missing a ton of stuff, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Do I win a prize for being the biggest As-Seen-On-TV junkie??? :)

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    Replies
    1. Oh, Space Bags! I forgot about those! And I *really* wanted the 6-Week Body Makeover, but it was too pricey at the time. Oh, and I'm TOTALLY getting a pair of Pajama Jeans!!

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    2. And, Jerrica, did any of them work like they were supposed to?

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  8. Sam- Have been seduce by these commercials, yes. Tempted, most definitely. Have I purchase any of those products (shaking my head in shame), yes. Let's see the list. Oh, it starts with Winsor Pilates. I did for a little time. I got bore with workout video. Next was bare minerals, that stuff gets pricey after awhile and now everyone mineral stuff. After that was the cricut. If you are into crafting you really want to stay away from that informercials. Now they know how suck people in.

    Drum roll please... because this is the pride of my shame. I need to give the backstory to how I got the shame. This past christmas we had an as seen on tv party. So, all the gifts had to be on tv at one point. I decided to get cake pops to bring to the party. It would be something to try. So, I had it all wrapped nice and pretty and set it down with the rest of the presents. We had are snacks and chat. Then starts the white elephant style of gift exchange. I should of picked my present. Oh well, I should always stick with the plan. Anyways, I pick a gift. I open it to find to my horror a shake weight. Yes, I'm a proud owner of a shake weight. Strike that a shameful owner. Not something I would ever get, but I still have one.

    The other stuff I have actually purchase and I try to stay clear of as seen on tv stuff.

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    Replies
    1. Did you try using it, Melody? LOL!

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    2. The sad thing is yes. And it comes with a workout video too

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    3. Melody,

      It comes with a workout video??? Hahaha! That's hilarious!!!

      I have to say that I LOVE the idea of an "As Seen on TV" gift exchange. The next time I host our family Christmas party, I'm going to suggest that for our white elephant exchange.

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    4. Oh my goodness it was the best white elephant ever. I have never laugh so hard. I had tears streaming down my face.

      I know you wouldn't expect that.

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  9. My husband, whom I adore but want to slap repeatedly, is 6'3", 185-190 lbs. This dope decided he, and by he I mean we, need to get in shape. So he bought the P90X DVDs. The ONLY reason I made through one of the two workouts I did with him is because I refused to let him finish standing while I twitched on the floor. Never. Again.

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    1. Hilarious! "I refused to let him finish standing while I twitched on the floor."

      Did he continue to use it, Andris?

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    2. No, the turd. But then again, he doesn't need it. No pencils get stuck under his tight a$$. ;}

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    3. OMG, Andris, I live with your pain. Hot Builder is almost 6'4 and about 205, I think, and there is no pencil staying hidden anywhere.;) He's all about extreme sports and I've seen him in action on job sites. Anyway, he loves P90X, and wants to start doing it again. And like your husband, by he, he means we.

      I *loathe* P90X. *goes to corner, sit and starts rocking*

      But I might be into Brazil Butt Lift, b/c there a pair of barzillian bathing suit bottoms I want, and that might be my only chance to look bootylicious in them. hee!

      Great post, Samantha!

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    4. Andris,

      My hubby has wanted to get the PX90 for us, too, but I told him there's no way. He has a single friend who has been doing PX90 for a year, and he has really transformed into a hottie. But I don't think my hubby needs to transform.

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    5. Marquita & Samantha, I abhor P90X. Not because it doesn't work, but because I'll die before it does. Hubs gets a wild hair every few months and dives in. Irritates me since he doesn't need it. Clearly he isn't mentally balanced. :)

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  10. Samantha ~ I am way too skeptical to buy anything from infomercials. In fact, I pay very little attention to any product commercial at all. 99% of everything I watch is DVRd and I skip right past every commercial out there. That other 1% is when I have the TV on in the background when I'm writing just for sound. And I can magically tune out any and all music and any and all advertisements. It's a gift. ;)

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    1. Not me, Ava. Which might be why it's a good thing we don't have cable or satellite. All they have to do is show me something shiny, and Hot Builder is hiding the credit card and phone from me. ;)

      A sparkly orange zester that also doubles as a back scratcher?! Give me 20 of 'em! Who wouldn't want one of those?!

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    2. Ava & Marquita,

      It may be in my genetic make-up. When my son was little, he used to talk about the Tempurpedic bed ALL THE TIME. One day he said "And do you know, you can jump on the bed without spilling your drink?!?" I'm sure that was very appealing for a four year old. :D

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  11. Jerrica,

    I love that you've given these products a shot. But the Shake Weight??? You know some guy invented that one. LOL

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  12. Oh, honey, thanks for my fall out of the chair laugh of the day!! Beware the disappearing pencil! To add insult to injury I just finished watching 300. Damn, Gerard Butler as Leonidas makes my heart (and other parts of my body) do the macarena!

    A Brazilian Butt Lift? NASA doesn't have enough thrust to life my butt! And my chest? James Cameron could raise the Titanic easier!

    My Mom is the queen of buying from infomercials, but she usually manages to get stuff that works. She has a good eye for that sort of thing.

    I did get a couple of Snuggies for Christmas and they are actually pretty useful for me. I have a miniature dachshund who loves to lay behind my back when I am writing. With the snuggie draped over my computer chair he can snuggle under the covers and the chihuahua and basset hound at my feet can lay on the excess and keep my feet warm.

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    1. Popping in for no other reason that to remind you that I met the delicious Gerard Butler (hehe), and forget the macarena, I was a puddle on the floor!!

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    2. You crack me up, Louisa! NASA should put their technology toward designing a bra with rocket-boosters. :D

      My kids always say this about the Snuggie: Isn't that just a robe on backwards?

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    3. Erin,

      How in the world do you get to meet all of these dream men??? :)

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    4. I know people who know people :P

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    5. Ah yes, Erin !! Remind me to beat you with a wet snuggie the next time I see you. I LOVE Gerard Butler! And wait until I tell the Divine Diane Gaston you have met him. She will HELP me beat you! LOL

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  13. Yes, I can admit I was seduced by an Infomercial. I bought "The Wave" Okay, I know it sounded to good to be true...but who wouldn't want to rock back and forth on this thing and get toned.

    Except, well the workouts are way more than rocking. Sigh. It's like aerobics class all over again. All I want is to rock in front of the tv. Not do these stretches and lifts and toe kicks.

    There are three cds in the kit and yes, one of them is for your booty. And your abs.

    My neighbors did the X90 whatever thingy as a couple. And yes they are in shape...but I won't do it. I swear I'm not into pain.

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    Replies
    1. Beth,

      I can see why "The Wave" would be tempting. It has such a fun name!!!

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  14. ROFLMAO! Oh Samantha, you know I already love your humor but now I love it even more! This was hilarious! I really don't buy much off the infomercials only because I can't afford them but there are few I was so tempted to buy. I really want to try the bare minerals make-up, oh and the space bags!

    Now last year when hubby was laid off, he gained a bunch of weight, almost forty pounds actually. Now that he's found a new job he's shedding weight like a stripper sheds clothes and he's lost almost 30 pounds in less than 4 months. So now I'm home and gaining weight and I realize that I need to do something quick! LOL. So I may look into a couple of these -- anything but the shake weight -- you can forget that, that'll just give my hubby all sorts of ideas LOL.

    Fun post, Samantha! I love it!

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    1. Suzie,

      I saw Space Bags at Walmart. I may pick some up before I head to Cali this summer.

      I bet lots of hubbies would get ideas watching their wives work out with shake weights. :D

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  15. The one and only thing I EVER bought from an infomercial was some sort of slushy maker - that never even worked the first time. My husband, on the other hand, bought P90x - and that thing worked like a miracle! Of course, it was also the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, and I haven't done it since, but still - if you do it, you get mad results!

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    Replies
    1. Erin,

      People do get great results with P90x, but then it seems like that's all they get to do in their spare time. We have another friend following the program & he can't ever go anywhere because he has to do his workout. :)

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  16. I was never tempted to buy, but oh how I want to be an actress in those household helper type commercials! The before, shot in black and white, are so dramatic!

    Early one morning, my Fella came be-bopping into the kitchen to ask me, "Don't you want hip-hop abs?"

    To which I replied, "No, I want to finish my coffee and then find a spot to bury your body."

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    Replies
    1. JanetLee,

      I hear grave digging is great for overall body toning. ;D

      If I'd been drinking coffee when I read your response, I would have spewed it. Too funny!

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    2. Me too. That was hilarious, JanetLee! If you find a good spot, let me know. I might have someone to add to the hole. ;)

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    3. Well, if you PROMISE not to tell, there is a small island across the creek from my backyard. There'll be mud, but no one goes there but the raccoons. Shhh!

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  17. I just remembered that my neighbor's son is addicted to infomercials. For his birthday he always asks for whatever new gadget is on kid's TV. Last year he actually got Magic Putty as a gift--the stuff that is supposed to be for fixing cups or shelves...

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    Replies
    1. But it's MAGIC, Deb! Who doesn't want magic, even if it comes in putty form? LOL

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  18. You know what infomercial really makes me laugh? The one where the person can't peel the hard boiled egg and throws it down in frustration. Dude! You don't need that gadget. You need to work on frustration tolerance!

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    1. LMAO! So true! Because he'd probably burst a vessel just trying to open the container the gadget comes in. Money down the train at that point. ;)

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  19. Hi Samantha, I recently bought the Brazil butt lift program and went yesterday to purchase the food for he 6 day super model slimdown. Unfortunately I left the pamphlet at the store. Grrr. I have been searching the web to see if anyone posted what was in it and cannot find anything. Would you be able to send me a copy of what was in it? My email is liondred1@yahoo.com
    Thanks, Tiffany

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