Two weeks ago I was watching late night television, which is very rare for me. I don’t watch a lot of tv, and maybe that’s for the best. But on this particular night, I was flipping through the channels and all of the sudden… HOLY BUM BUM, BATMAN! There was an infomercial about perfect booties and dancing.
On a beach.
A Brazilian beach!
I love dancing.
I’d love a perfect bum bum! (Pronounced boom boom, but it still means your bum.)
Brazil has always been on my list of places I want to see.
And beaches—well, there are umbrella drinks on beaches, right?
How could I possibly resist? I couldn’t. In the five minutes I watched the infomercial for the Brazil Butt Lift, I was sold. (Shouldn’t it be Brazilian Butt Lift, not Brazil? That bugs me a little, but you don’t buy the workout DVD to improve your grammar. You buy it because you’re seduced by the promise of a perfect behind.)
I ordered it from Amazon and my Brazil Butt Lift workout DVDs arrived along with my “Booty Makeover Guide”, “Booty Tools”, and “6-Day Supermodel Slimdown Plan” this Monday. (I’m pretty sure slim down is two words rather than one, but that’s okay.) When I opened the package, I was slightly surprised by the rather large photo of Leandro Carvalho. He looks all squinty-eyed on the infomercial, but in his picture, he has really pretty eyes.
The second surprise was that there is a test to see if you need a butt lift. Get out your pencils, ladies. Just your pencils. You’re not going to need paper for this test. (Even the booklet admits this sounds strange.) “Simply take the pencil and place it in the crease where your butt meets the top of the back of your thigh. If the pencil stays put or actually disappears, your butt lacks lift.”
I think if the pencil disappears, you have bigger problems than a saggy bottom. Stay calm and seek medical attention immediately.
The third surprise, which isn’t all that shocking really, is that supermodels have to work their butts off to have perfect bum bums. The Brazil Butt Lift workout regime totals approximately an hour a day, six days a week. You can break it up, but who wants to get sweaty twice in a day?
I did my first workout last night and I thought I was going to pass out. As with any exercise, though, I’m sure it will get much easier as I stick with it. And I can tell it’s a thorough workout. You tone muscles, it’s fast paced for cardio, and you have to balance, which means engaging your core muscles. There’s also a diet to follow. The recipes look pretty good, and there are easy snack ideas, including the best choices at a convenience store.
After looking over everything, I’ve come to the decision that perfection isn’t necessary. I can live with almost perfect. I figure even if I do thirty minutes a day, I will get some benefit from the exercises. And if I don’t, I’ll always have a place to hold my pencil.
Have you ever been tempted by an infomercial? If so, what was the product and did you buy it?