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Friday, March 9, 2012

Donut (Dang) You Auto Correct!

We've all had it happen. The quickly dashed off text, tweet or email to a friend, boss, co-worker or family member that when we re-read it leaves us pink cheeked and dying for a do-over function.


Auto Correct was supposed to make the spelling-challenged of us lives better. No more remembering i before e except after c and in words like weird and sleigh. Or how many flippin' e's are really in Tennessee. Oh Auto Correct you drew me in like a nith to a flange moth to a flame.

I was okay with silly little mix-ups, like the time I texted Hot Builder and asked him to go to Fishnets to get me a muffler.

What Auto Correct had in mind
What I had in mind
        Do these two pictures look like the same thing to you?                                        









And I can't tell you how many times I get this:
What Auto Correct thought I meant
mixed up with this:

What *I* really meant
                                                 
    

No harm, no foul and at least that text was between me and my husband.  Unlike the time I tweeted Sabrina Jeffries about how ORGIES SOUND FUN!!!!


@SabrinaJeffries @Ava_Stone OMG I meant Ottowa!!!!!
11:48 AM - 28 Aug 11 via Twitter for Android · Details
·        Close
@marquitaval @Ava_Stone Phew! Because I was really scratching my head over that one. :-)
12:18 PM - 28 Aug 11 via web · Details


Oh no she didn't!


Yep, right there in front of God and everyone. So now I try to be extra careful about what I type and double check things before I hit send.

Still sometimes lipstick (what?!?) stuff happens.

Have you ever had an Auto Correct Fail or sent off an email that you wished you could do over?

Happy Friday!!!


   
                                                    

46 comments:

  1. Marquita ~ I nearly forgot about that Tweet! OMG, that was hilarious. Actually, you have a lot of typos that often make me giggle. So here's a funny autocorrect of mine.

    In our critique group a while back we were discussing conferences, and I reminded Jerrica Knight-Catania about when we first met in person at the NJRW Conference several years ago. I said "Do you remember you were worried we wouldn't lick each other."

    Yeah, that was supposed to be "LIKE". Stupid iPhone. I don't go around licking people. As fate would have it - we do like each other, but still no licking. Eww!

    For the absolute best autocorrect laughs online, you have to go to http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/ Seriously... pee your pants funny.

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    1. I'm glad you don't lick people Ava. I'm not sure you'd have a writing partner if you went around doing that.

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    2. LICK!!! OMGosh, Ava, that is too funny.

      And I love that site. People really should visit it--at least once a day. ;)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  2. I don't use it much - the smart phone I now have is much smarter than me and likes to prove it. My daughter was slightly confused when I told her I was on the way Daniel, instead of down - after correcting it three times. When I finally just wrote "shit" THAT it recognized and censored for me. Sigh.... Wasn't technology supposed to free us instead of tethering us?

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    1. Donna, I think we should start calling smart phones by their real names: pieces of &^%$ !!!

      Yeah that autocorrect doesn't like the swears. hee!

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    2. Oh and Donna, thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
    3. I don't know if this is true, but my son told me that if you add whatever swears you're apt to use to your "contact" list with nothing else - autocorrect won't autocorrect it when you type one of "those" words.

      I'm not sure if I'm happy or not that my teenage son has such knowledge.

      Delete
    4. LOL! You poor thing. But I think this is very useful information. *heads off to find phone*

      Delete
  3. So funny, Marquita! Is Fishnets a restaurant?

    Ava--that is one of my all time favorite sites. When I need a guaranteed laugh, I go there.

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    1. Thanks, Deb. I'm not aware of any restaurant called Fishnets but I actually "wrote" Goodberry's. Hot Builder texted me back with a WTH?!?

      Although I think he was disappointed that he wasn't being asked to go to a sexy lingerie store. ;)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  4. I turned off the autocorrect feature within minutes of purchasing the phone. No way was I gonna that happen to me. However, turning off that feature doesn't save you from sending an inappropriate text intended for your husband to your mother-in-law. That's right. Alphabetical order is a ...problem when two people with the last name Bear are listed back to back. Make sure you choose the right number!

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    1. LMAO! I would pay good money to see that text.

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    2. BWAHAHAHA!!! OMGosh!!! Bless your heart, Andris. So far (knock on wood)

      I haven't done that BUT some of my more "passionate" texts to Hot Builder haven't come across *that* way. I'm trying to be all sexy, but each text makes absolutely no sense. And it doesn't help that he starts making fun of me. *eye roll* Men...

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
    3. That's happened twice. Need I mention the MIL and I have a strained relationship?

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    4. LOL! I bet you do. But at least she knows you love her son. :)

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    5. Oh she knows exactly how I love her son! Bahaha!

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  5. Hey, Marquita. I remember seeing that tweet!

    My android was good about autocorrect, the iPhone not so much. It really, really wants to help and I haven't figured out how to turn the feature off. The Mac isn't nearly as "helpful" thank goodness, or I'd be seriously concerned about my WIPs.

    Thanks for the Friday morning smile.
    L. j.

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    1. You do, Lucie? I clearly remember where I was when it happened. Hot Builder and I were outside, watching the kids play. I hadn't had my smart phone that long and was having fun using all the cool features.

      I almost dropped the dang thing when I read what had been posted to Twitter. Of course Hot Builder thought it was funny as hell. *grumble, grumble*

      Glad it made you smile and thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  6. Hahaha! That is awesome. I *wish* I had seen that one! As anyone who has gotten emails, blog comments, texts or Tweets from me knows, I screw them up ALL THE TIME. Auto-correct has done it to me more than once, but I'm just as back. And I have a twitchy trigger finger, so I wind up sending the response before I realize what it says half the time, lol!
    I got a text message from my mom the other day. I have no idea what she was trying to say, but it merely read "Oleg foley"...it was pretty funny. I sent her one back that said "You know I only speak English, right?" ;)

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    1. You're just as back, Olivia?! Did you mean bad, lol!!! Auto Correct Fail strikes again!!!!

      That text from your mom is hilarious, and your reply is brilliant.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
    2. LOL on the 'back' typo, Olivia ;) And yes, you are one of the worst typoists out there! Lucky for you, I am fluent in typo and can usually understand, lol.

      Delete
  7. Hilarious, Marquita! I hate after I click send on a Tweet/e-mail/blog post and have to cringe at all the silly typos. But I wish there was an auto-correct for what comes out of your mouth! I was once at a gathering set up by an undergrad professor of mine. For some reason, the conversation turned to Gilbert and Sullivan. (Don't ask-I don't remember, lol) So I mentioned how my favorite show of all time, The West Wing, mentioned Pirates of Penzance and HMS Pinafore in an episode. Only I said PMS Pinafore. UGH! Seriously, I wanted to die, and I did not live that down easily.

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    1. Thanks, Lisa!

      An auto-correct for your (or rather my) mouth would be awesome. Maybe it could also be a filter for what I need to say instead of what I want to say?

      I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you thought. Sometimes we make it worse in our heads than it really is. Or so I like to tell myself. ;)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  8. Love this post! I don't have auto-correct on my phone, but was recently in a typing class where my instructor masked the keyboard so I could learn to type the correct way. Well, you never saw sooo many accidental cuss words thanks to typos! I've learned my lesson.

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    1. Thanks Lily!

      A masked keyboard? Wow and I thought my teacher is high school was bad. She would do timed sprints and we had to look up at her the *entire* time while we typed. Torture, then hilarity as we looked back over our work. :)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  9. Love todays blog. I have had my share of auto-corrected mishaps in the last year. However, I can't remember what I wrote except to the phrase Damn you auto-correct and having my friend laughing at me. HOwever, I have been pretty good at not sending to many of those texts. I love my phone evening if it auto-corrects to a very inappropriate saying.
    My confession is I love going damn you auto-correct to see what has gotten on there; especially, when I'm feeling blue. Some of them are pretty bad. Fortunately I haven't had that bad of a text where my friends go that needs to go auto-correct.

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    1. Glad you loved it, Melody. :)) My favorite part of writing this blog was finding the facepalm kitty picture. hee!

      I love going to damnyouauto-correct, too! It's so funny, especially when people get frustrated and try to swear. I saw one where it came out Holy Jeeves Crisco. I couldn't stop giggling.

      Delete
  10. Orgies!?! Hilarious, Marquita. As always!

    I've never had a really bad autocorrect fail. I do marvel, though, over the words that autocorrect sometimes suggests to me, like "Anasazi" on one occasion. Um. Anasazi?!

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    1. Thanks, Katharine!

      Anasazi---what in the world?! That's too funny. :)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  11. Hahaha! Marquita, I think I want to give you my number, just so I can get texts about orgies and mufflers from you. That's priceless.

    Sadly, my phone is pretty good about not autocorrecting anything as brilliantly as that. Or bad. Whichever. It doesn't really happen. My mom and sisters all have iphones, though, and their phones are constantly "fixing" things for them. One time, my sister texted me that she was going to take our nephew to the darts game (something she only plays at a bar...and he's FOUR). She meant the Stars game, a hockey game. It was an interesting conversation we had, with me yelling at her that she'd better not even dream of taking my sweet little Monster to a bar in this lifetime or she wouldn't want to know what I'd do to her. She was a little confused...

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    1. Anytime, Catherine. ;)

      I can only imagine the misinformation that flows between people due to autocorrect. I'm sure it might be responsible for quite a few arguments, too, lol!

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  12. Marquita,
    Hilarious! I've texted some wrong things but nothing too shockingly different. A few weeks back though someone sent me an e-mail showing peoples auto correct mishaps. I laughed so hard I cried at some of the things auto correct came up with. Great blog!

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    1. Thanks, Julie!

      I think one of the funniest I saw on that site was a person randomly texted kittenbasketparty in the middle of a sentence. :)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  13. My son's name is 'Peyton' and autocorrect insists we should have named him 'Peyote'.

    I can't stand correcting the auto-corrected words, so I turned off the option on my iPad last year and now I send all kinds of jacked-up words. Who knew I was such a bad speller? Ha! But it's still better than stupid auto-correct.

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    1. Peyote? HA!

      I don't know Becky, that stupid auto-correct *does* make life more...interesting. ;)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  14. I hate to say it but I don't have a great autocorrect story for two reasons. One, I'm too cheap to have a dumbphone instead of a smartphone and two, I'm so anal retentive that I double check my double check! So sorry to disappoint. But I do have dreams....of maybe one day in the distant future...when I have a smartphone...sending you something totally misspelled and outrageous. Ok, maybe not! : )

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    1. Lookie there! I made a mistake. I meant to say I'm too cheap to have a smartphone so I have a dumbphone. Maybe I do have an autocorrect story coming sooner than I thought!! ; )

      Delete
    2. LOL!!! Oh, MK, I can't wait for you to have a smartphone--if only so we can have special ringtones for each other like Hot Builder and Bromance.

      Seriously we need to step up our Womance! ;)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  15. My phone does sneaky autocorrect - after I've already moved on to the next word, I'll look back and see some completely bizarro word. I swear half the time they aren't even real words! Still, without it I'd be sending even more insensible tweets and texts, so we'll just call it the lesson of two Econ, er, the *lesser* of two *evils* (sheesh!) ;)

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    1. LOL!!! Oh that sneaky, sneaky autocorrect, Erin! That's how fishnets and muffler got through. I could have sworn I typed the correct words. I also blame that slider key function on my keyboard. :))

      I mean, it can't be *us*.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  16. ROFLMAO omgosh you guys are killing me today. I don't have a smart phone or autocorrect because I'm broke lol. It may be a good thing though.

    Years ago when hubby and I first met, we met in an online video game called Star Wars Galaxies. Well, the game is supposed to reply automatically to whoever sent you the last pm. I thought I was replying to hubby and well I simply missed a message from another buddy of mine. Needless to say I was pink-cheeked all day. I have to say hubby and our buddy thought it was classic and I still get ribbed about it. But our friend loves to remind us that he's still hoping I'll change my mind about who that message was meant for LOL.

    Btw my hubby spends hours on that Damn you autocorrect dot com site. LOL I love to listen to him chuckle over them.

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    1. Oh my, Suzie, sounds like you and Andris have a lot in common. ;)

      I think the great thing about DYAC site is that people are making fun of *themselves* by posting their texts. And really that's all you can do sometimes. :)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  17. Cracking up reading all the posts and blog today! I am not a texting person, but I have made plenty of typos in posts. The bad thing is they have no edit option, so you just have to leave it.
    Wahh! I really enjoy reading and hearing all the auto-correct stories.

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    1. Hi Rhi! The comments are pretty funny. It's nice to know I'm not alone in my auto-correct embarrassment! :) And that is true; there are no editing options. I think that's why Lady Scribe Ava is always laughing at my comments. ;)

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  18. Marquita, You are so funny. I always look forward to your blogs. This one is a classic. HB

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    1. Awww, HB, you're the best!

      Thanks for stopping by!

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