Yesterday, as I was getting ready for work, I began to ponder the great mysteries of our household. ‘Cause that’s what I do. I ponder, especially in the shower. On this particular day, I identified five unexplained mysteries common to our household.
|What I would look like pondering if I were a young boy|
1. Why is the dustpan always missing? It’s never in its designated spot when any of us go to get it. It’s not like anyone is secretly sweeping when no one is looking, so what’s up? The last time I was on deadline the dust bunnies formed an army and tried to overthrow us, so I KNOW no one in the family is hiding a sweeping addiction.
2. What is so complicated about a tube of toothpaste? It’s a flip lid! Just squeeze, then flip it closed. That’s how you avoid that yucky, dried up crust around the end. An ounce of prevention, people! Keep up with me, here. And no, I am NOT running out to buy a new tube just so it too can get “gross” in a couple of days. Learn how to operate it.
|Actual tube from my kids' bathroom before I cleaned it up. Notice how it is squeezed in the middle.|
3. Where did all the scissors go? I’ve purchased around 20 pairs of scissors in the last three years, but when anyone needs to use them, they’re gone. It’s like the scissors sprout wings and fly away. I expect some day we’ll find them among a cache of weapons the dust bunnies have amassed in preparation for their next attack.
4. Who keeps taking the backs off the remotes? Every remote we get mysteriously loses the back cover. Why? If the batteries were missing too, I could understand. But they aren’t!!! So why does the back cover disappear? And I do mean DISAPPEAR since we can’t ever seem to find it again.
5. What is that funky smell? The source of the funk can be just about anything from dear hubby’s gym bag to something unpleasant the animals did in one of the kids’ rooms. Or it might be someone’s shoes. Or someone’s bad aim in the powder room. Or out-of-date broccoli hiding behind the mayo. Or the dog that rolled in God-only-knows-what outside. Sometimes one must go on a sniffing mission to hunt down the offender and take it out. Of course, once the source is identified, immediate action must be taken to eliminate the stank. But guess what? No dice, because the deodorizing spray has apparently eloped with the back of the remote.
Don’t you think this would make a great show on HGTV? The mysteries of a particular household presented and solved within 30 minutes. So, tell me. What are some of the great mysteries in your house?