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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Truth or Dare

Remember those old sleepovers we had as kids? Staying up all night, hopped on sugar and the good company of your BFFs? Toilet papering the yard of the hot guy on the basketball team (why did we do this, again??)? Watching videos on MTV (back when they played videos)? Talking about crushes? Playing Truth or Dare until someone either chickened out or got mad?
No? Only me?
Yeah, I’m not buying it. You remember. You just might not want to admit to remembering. Or your memory is worse than mine. Either way, odds are, you did one of all of those things back in the day.

Those were the days, right? 
So I thought it would be fun to take a walk down memory lane and play a virtual game of Truth or Dare. And being the good sport I am, I’ll go first.  And I’ll pick “truth”.
TRUTH… Tell us all something “bad” you did within the last 24 months…
Ok. Here I go…
I stole an “in-play” golf ball and didn’t give it back.
That sounds bad, doesn’t it? Anyone who plays golf is now going to hate me. But in my defense, it wasn’t on purpose. It really wasn’t. At least not at first.
I suppose I should preface this story with the fact that while I was growing up, my uncle lived on a golf course and his lawn was always littered with golf balls. I mean he could have made a mint selling used golf balls (if there was a market for such a thing.) So, I was accustomed to seeing golf balls lying around near a golf course.
Idyllic, at least until a golfer with a 
bulging vein in his neck is after you!
So one day, the scientist and I went for a walk along the golf course near my brother’s house. We were walking on the paved golf cart path and enjoying ourselves, the pretty weather, and the nice view. And then there – right in the middle of the paved path – was a golf ball.
I said, “Look, a golf ball.”
The scientist said, “You should take that.”
So I did. I tucked the little treasure in my pocket, and we continued on our walk. Well… about 5 minutes later, a man starts yelling down the path toward us. He was too far away for us to hear, and we didn’t think he was talking to us, so we just kept going.
But a few minutes later, thanks to the windy path we were on, he was now a bit closer to us, a little louder and looked a lot more irate. “Hey! Did you take my ball?”
It is at this moment that I now know I’ve messed up his game, accidentally, but messed up all the same. Normally, I would have copped to my ineptitude and apologized profusely, but the vein I saw bulging out of his neck warned me that he wasn’t the sort to listen quietly or calmly. So I just to keep my mouth closed in the cowardice act of self preservation.
Luckily, the path meandered away from him and we were safe for a while. But now we both know we’re in trouble. To get back home, we’re going to have to go right past him again. There isn’t another way. So on the fly we came up with a plan…
Ok, it was hidden better than this, 
or I'd be dead right now. 
Taking a deep breath as we approached our unintended victim, we were prepared for the onslaught of yelling. And the enraged golfer did not disappoint. His face was red, the vein was still bulging. He bellowed, “Let’s try this again! Did you take my ball?!?”
My scientist said… Well, I don’t know what he said, it was all in German. And I stared blankly at the golfer, as though I didn’t speak English and couldn’t understand why he was screaming at us.
“You don’t even speak English?” he barked. “Perfect! That’s just (expletive) great!”
My scientist said something else in German as we walked away, the golfer’s ball tucked safely away in my pocket.
So that’s how I stole an “in-play” golf ball and didn’t give it back. I’m not proud of my actions, but I am still alive. And being alive is very important to me.
Now it’s your turn. Truth or Dare?
TRUTH – Same as mine… Tell us all something “bad” you did within the last 24 months. (No cheating with things I did as a kid.)
DARE – Doorbell ditch your next door neighbor (but they have to be home at the time) and then tell us all about it. Do you feel 12 years old again?

OR - If you're too chicken to either tell us a truth or do the dare, I guess you can tell us your best sleepover memory.

43 comments:

  1. Honestly, I don't have anything really bad to tell. I'm the model of perfection. Now if was about 15years ago I have a story. Oh wait I have told you Ava. And I'm not ding-dong ditching the neighbors house. Yep, you can call me chicken. Cluck, cluck.
    Best sleepover memory would be... Thinking...thinking...thinking...nothing. I wasn't cool enough to get invite to them. High school was a tad bit rough.

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    1. Melody, I can't believe you're going to chicken out and *not* doorbell ditch the neighbors. :)

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    2. Really. The biggest chicken here. Cluck, cluck. ;D

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  2. I can't believe you did that (I am laughing) but I am also visualizing all the die-hard golfers I know, and you are lucky to be alive. I can't really think of something I did in the last 24 months. As soon as the coffee starts circulating through my brain I am sure I will remember several things.

    When I was in grade school we almost caused a fire. I was at a friends house and someone put their pajama bottoms over the top of a table lamp so it wasn't so bright in the room. Yep, they started smoking. Not our best idea.

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    1. Jane ~ We were truly lucky to escape with our lives. :)

      Yikes! You smoked some pajama bottoms! So what you're saying is you made some hot pants, right?

      Sorry, still recovering from my cold and the medicine makes me loopy.

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  3. Oh, Ava. (Please tell me that photo of the golf ball in the pocket is NOT of you, because the body hair is a little terrifying.)

    Hmm. Well, there IS something bad I've done, and YOU know about it, but it isn't something I can really talk about in a public setting. LOL.

    And my next door neighbor is at home, but she's a sweet little lady on dialysis, so I'm not going to doorbell ditch her. Besides, if I did, that would give Kiki another two opportunities to escape and lead me on a not-so-merry cat chase (super merry for her, nowhere close to merry for me), so I think I'll pass on that one.

    So...yeah...there was a time in high school that I was hanging out with my older sister's three best friends. I honestly can't remember why I was with them and she was not, but we started playing a game of truth or dare. I got to know a lot more about them that night than I ever imagined, and we had some crazy dares going on...dares involving drinking toilet water and holding ice cubes on nipples, and all manner of other things that are not fit for public revelation. (And yes, I did one of the two I mentioned.) It was a good night, one I'll never forget. LOL.

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    1. BUT if you *did* doorbell ditch the old lady on dialysis next door, you'd have something to add to the "bad" thing you did list. LMAO!

      Actually, just imagining you doing that and then having to chase after Kiki is making me giggle. (It could also be the cold medicine.)

      And I don't think that's body hair, I think it's a shirt... BUT either way, the pic isn't of me.

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    2. LOL, I looked closer, and I don't think it is a shirt. But it could be a belt. But on first look it looks like body hair. *shudder*

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    3. If anyone had *that* much body hair, forced waxing would be in their future. I think you're right. I think it's a belt. :)

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  4. Too funny, Ava! Something bad I've done...not to hard to think of! I yelled at my five year old this morning because he refused to eat breakfast. Honestly, I just want the kid to have a good meal before school but every morning getting him to eat is a battle. This morning mommy lost her cool, and though I aplolgized I felt terrible, especially since I preach the no yelling rule all the time.

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    1. Well, shoot, Julie. I'm chock full of bad stuff if we're counting in yelling at the kids. Haha! ;D

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    2. Julie ~ I was grumpy with my son for not eating his breakfast today either. I kept saying, "Eat your food." "Eat your food." "Eat your freakin' food."

      And then scolwed at me. "What do you want from me?" he asked.

      To which I replied, "I want you to eat your food!"

      Then he did, but he grumbled the whole time. They need something decent in their bellies before they walk out the door. Sheesh!

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  5. I did something SO BAD about 2 weeks ago and my seven year old CAUGHT me doing it. As many of you know, my five year old has very high functioning Aspergers. Well, it can be...frustrating. Sometimes his "homework" (preschool) is easy fro him and other times he really struggles. He gets frustrated easily and will pitch a fit and refuse to finish it, occasionally.
    Can you guess what I did? *Looks around guilty*
    That's right. I finished coloring in his homework sheet, even adding scribbles outside the lines for authenticity. And my seven year old CAUGHT me! I was so embarrassed. He was like, "MOM. You can't do his homework for him!" And he was right, I know...I KNOW. But sometimes, it;s so hard. I don't want my little guy to be left behind or feel left out. I'm working on the control thing I swear, lol!

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    1. That's a good one. I love that you scribble to make authentic. That's awesome.

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    2. LOL, Olivia! That is hilarious. I love your attempt ant authenticity and your 7 year old lecturing you. Too funny!

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    3. Man, there's nothing worse than being caught out by your kids!

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    4. You are far from the first to do their kids' schoolwork for them. I even have a friend, who is a TEACHER, who has done her daughter's homework for her.

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    5. My 5yo has high functioning Aspergers as well (& ADHD, eek!), so I know exactly what you mean - I would have done the same thing. *hugs* Fortunately his brother's only 2, so he can't call me out on it - yet. ;) Also, like Melody, I love how you were careful to add scribbles to make it look like he did it. Haha!

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  6. I hate to pick just *one* thing that I did bad. Wow. This will take some thought. ;)

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    1. I bet! Can't wait to see what you come back with. But don't feel you have to limit yourself, Marquita. You can list 6 or 7 bad things. We'll never tell a soul. :)

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  7. Yay for the Scientist! But there's No Way I'm confessing to anything! :-)

    I do have some weird slumber party memories. One time we went ice skating and I fell through the ice. It was a very "Little Women" moment--except there was no Laurie to carry me home. I felt extremely cheated!

    I remember watching Carrie--and being scared of that last bit in the cemetary for years.

    And I remember being forced to listen to Barry Manilow records by a girl who was crazy about him. He was already old when I was in middle school!

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    1. I can't believe you won't confess to anything, Deb! LOL

      I didn't force you to listen to Barry Manilow, did I? (Or are you talking about someone else and I've just given away that I'm a huge Barry Manilow fan?) Shhh! All secrets stay at the sleepover.

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  8. Ava,

    I don't think I want to confess anything in print, just in case I run for office one day! I can tell you that I got yelled at once just for taking a walk on a cart path at a golf course. Apparently, it isn't "done" at that club. Seemed like a nice enough place to walk to me. I guess they already outlawed walkers because of people like you!

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    1. Michelle ~ LOL! People like me make the game more interesting.

      Do you think a run for office is in your future? I don't think they'll get you for doorbell ditching your next door neighbor. ;)

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  9. I did something bad just yesterday. See, I try hard to act like a better person than I really am and to keep all the ugliness inside my head...but sometimes a little bit leaks out. I sent a coworker a snarky IM asking why another coworker looked like Charles Nelson Reilly. Really, though, she did. She had on bright red pants and a super-ugly sweater that was white and gold-mustard stripes. She had on these large glasses that were mostly black but with a large and glaring white stripe around the lenses. To cap it, her hair is dyed some purple color.

    I caught a glimpse of her from across the department and my first thought was, "Charles Nelson Reilly." Which is bad enough to THINK, but did not need to be IM'd to my coworker. I also didn't need to then find a picture of Charles Nelson Reilly on the internet and e-mail it to him. I am going straight to hell!

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    1. OMG, Caren! I knew I loved you! LMAO!!

      You really didn't need to find the Charles Nelson Reilly pic and email to your co-worker, but I think it's truly hilarious that you did!

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    2. But really, truly not what a NICE person would do...

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    3. ...but was it nice of her to show up looking like Charles Nelson Reilly in the first place? I mean, you have eyes. If she'd come to work looking normal, she wouldn't have made you do something bad. ;)

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  10. Ava, My husband would code out over the golf ball incident! Baha! I applaud your bad deeds, you wicked girl. I don't think I have anything bad to share as I tweet everything anyway. ;} I don't mind ringing my neighbor's doorbell, but since I've already threatened to strangle their psychotic dog (she's bitten several people) if she so much as growls at my kids again, I suspect they'd call the cops. And nothing shortens my hubs bra strap like having to arrest his wife. ;}

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    1. Andris ~ I'm very lucky I didn't steal your hubby's golf ball. I'd hate to be arrested over the incident. ;)

      I would pay good money, however, to see you doorbell ditch your neighbors with the psychotic dog. That would be more than funny. If anyone could get away with it, it's you.

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  11. I left work early for no other reason than to take a mental health day. We've been crazy busy and the other mammographer has been out since last Wednesday with pneumonia. And it's October. Breast cancer awareness month. Everyone is thinking about mammograms this month. And we've been insanely busy. So, I left work early, leaving her with a full schedule. The good me made sure she could make it through the afternoon. And I did get permission to leave work early. The bad me got out of there as fast I could and didn't look back. Not as funny as your stolen golfball story, which BTW, I love your on the fly cover up! But i felt a little a guilty all the same.

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    1. Lilly ~ Too funny! At least there was a good "you" that made sure she could make it. :) I understand the guilt though, I felt bad having ruined the guy's game... but I felt good about making it off the course alive. LOL

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  12. I love the quick thinking with the German! Bahaha!

    I'm usually a lurker here, but Olivia linked to this post on Twitter, and I have one to share, though it's not TOO bad.
    I have't gone in months, but my neighbor friend and I used to go to an exercise class together once a week. It fell during the kids' bedtimes, so we'd giddily leave the bedtime battles with multiple kids to our husbands to deal with, and run off to class. One time we got all the way there to find out it was canceled, but rather than waste our kid-free time, we went out for ice cream instead. Ice cream. In our exercise clothes. Got some odd looks.

    And then, when I got home, I never mentioned it. Ran straight upstairs for a shower to wash off all that ice cream eating sweat. Horrible.

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    1. Megan! That is classic. Good for you and your friend! (And good thing no one smelled any ice cream on you before you took your shower.) LOL!

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    2. I even took some water from my water bottle and wet my hairline, haha!

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    3. Hee! I love this. Granted, I'm not a mom, so I can't understand quite as well as many around here could...but I admire you for making sure to get your non-kid time in, whether you went to your exercise class or not.

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    4. Megan is a genius! A pure genius!!

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  13. Okay, so I couldn't think of one. snort. BUT I did think of something my dad did that wasn't exactly honest yet not a lie. One time my parents kept getting cable or phone company calls trying to sell them more services. My parents had done everything to get them from bothering them, including reporting company.

    Anyway, so the next time they call, my dad (who's bilingual) speaks only in Spanish to the telemarketer. They hang up and my dad is thinking this is the greatest thing ever. The phone rings, not even a day later, and the person in the line speaks nothing but SPANISH to my dad...so my dad pretends to not understand them, even after they switch to English. LOL.

    I think the company got so confused they quit calling. LOL!

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    1. Marquita ~ That is hilarious! I just don't answer my home phone. Anyone who knows me calls me on my cell. I keep my land line for two reasons.. 1 - Sometimes I use it to call my cell, when I can't locate it. Shhh! And 2 - My security system needs it.

      But it doesn't get answered. It just rings and rings. No one is ever home. ;)

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    2. I've thought about getting a landline so I could call my cell when I lose it. But I figure I'll just email/FB/Tweet about it until someone calls me. :)

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    3. Cat ~ That's brilliant! I love it!!

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  14. Hmm... It's a little late to ring the doorbell at the neighbor's house, so I guess I better make some kind of confession. It's not that I don't do bad things. I just don't want it online in case it comes back to haunt me. :)

    Well, this was a mistake, but I accidentally ditched my family longer than necessary when I showed up a day early for a conference. I really enjoyed sleeping in and having a morning all to myself. I never did tell my hubby what I did.

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    1. You never told him? That's funny, Sam! And I happen to remember that conference. :)

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