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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

How To Spot A Drama Queen

By: Julie Johnstone

To be perfectly honest, I had no clue what I was going to blog about today. I took over one of the other Lady Scribes' regular blog days on Monday because I failed to realize I was up to blog today. This is what happens when you don’t have enough sleep or hours in the day to get organized so that you can get to bed early enough to get the sleep you need. It’s a viscous cycle―I swear!

Inspiration struck me when I was on Facebook. I knew all that wasted time browsing post would come in handy someday! One of my fellow critique partners posted something that said, “1st clue that someone is a drama queen: She says, "I don't want you to think I'm a drama queen." Gives it away every time.” I laughed so hard, and it gave me the idea to write a blog about drama queens!

I think having personally known many, and having a tendency to create funny, dramatic side-kicks, makes me a semi-expert. Okay. Not really, but I have to write about something, and I know you guys will cut me a break. So here are five clues you know someone is a drama queen.

1. She shows up for a hike in the woods in a matching outfit that sparkles, and her shoes of choice for the hike are heels.
2. She believes a bad hair day is a legitimate reason to cry.
3. She believes a pimple is a legitimate reason to stay in the house until said pimple goes away.
4. She always has a crisis bigger than yours. You lost your job? She suddenly has lost hers and her car.
5. Finally, you can never have a girl’s night out that doesn't end with her in tears. *Caveat-unless a super hot guy gets her number.

I can’t resist a little excerpt from one of the drama queens created from my own imagination. Meet Sally who is Whitney Rutherford’s sidekick in Conspiring with a Rogue.

A door clicked, footsteps padded across the hardwood floor, and the hiss of the curtain rings being slid across the wood rod had Whitney cursing against her pillow. Sally would be the only one entering this room as Mr. Wentworth had explicitly told Mr. Nabors, the groom of the chamber, no assistance was required due to a morbid shyness.

The bed sank beside Whitney and a warm hand rubbed across her forehead. “Wake up, darling. We have a disaster.”

Sally’s words sent alarm racing through Whitney, and she bolted up, almost throwing Sally to the floor. She grasped Sally by the arm and hauled her back onto the bed. “Don’t tell me Peter decided to refuse your request.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, darling. Peter can refuse me nothing, which is one of the reasons I love him.”

“Your modesty is astounding,” Whitney replied, her heartbeat slowing from its frantic, worried pace.
With a frown, Sally rose from the bed and started pacing the room. Whitney watched her friend wear a path back and forth across the Aubusson carpet until she could take no more. “What is it? If Peter is still agreed upon helping, what’s the disaster?”

Sally faced her, hands planted on her hips. “Which would you prefer first, the major disaster or the minor inconvenience which led to the disaster?”

“Any other choices?” she asked dryly.

Sally shook her head.

Whitney scooted back against the mounds of pillows. If she was going to receive bad news, she might as well be comfortable. “How can we have a disaster this early in the morning? Surely Peter has yet to have time to do your bidding?”

“It’s not early.” Sally strode to the window and threw open the shutters. Bright sunlight shone through the opening. “It’s noon, darling.” Sally eyed her narrowly. “Just how long did it take you to fall asleep?”

Noon? Whitney’s mouth suddenly felt very dry. Noon was plenty of time for several catastrophes to occur. She glanced at the nightstand and grasped the glass of water she had put there last night. The drink helped to moisten her mouth, but her stomach was doing somersaults, and there was nothing she could do to help that. “It was dawn when I finally drifted away. I feel dreadful.”

“You look dreadful, too.”

“And they say in the ton you are all that’s kind,” Whitney grumbled. “If they only knew the real you.”

“Oh, darling, I’m sorry.” Sally sat on the bed and faced her. “Your betrothed arrived very early this morning.”

Shock was a funny thing. Whitney had always thought herself a calm person, but in the last several days, she had found herself with a racing heart, unable to speak, and her mouth hanging open. This was one of those moments where disbelief took away all coherent thought. “Huh?” she managed, quite proud she got that one word out.

“Close your mouth, darling, it’s unsightly.”

Now, tell me your drama queen story!


  1. Hey now, Julie, drama queens need love too. ;} Not that I know anything about that. Except when I'm pregnant (praise Jesus, don't let that happen to me again!) Long story short, I hid in a closet from my husband when I was pregnant with my first baby because he started to clean the laundry closet I'd already cleaned and he was taking everything out! Naturally, I did what any insane pregnant woman would do--I stomped upstairs and hid next to my shoes in our closet. You should have seen his face when he found me. My only defense is that pregnancy makes me irrational. And psychotic. And homicidal. But other than that I'm great. ;} Cute post!

  2. Thanks, Andris. A closet? I'm trying to picture that!

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  4. One of my less proud drama queen moments involves someone very near and dear to...oh hell, it's me. I'll admit it. : ) So my sister was supposed to call me and let me know our Black Friday plans. And I of course NEVER got a call. or text. Let the theatrics fly when I learn she's at the mall shopping with the rest of our friends/family. Oh the little sister madness I rained down on her that morning...only to check my VM and realize she'd left me a message. oops. Here's to hoping she skips the Lady Scribes blog today as I didn't have the nerve to fess up. In my defense, I was voted class actress in high school (not a drama queen, I really acted)...and sometimes I think the world is a stage. Sorry for the poor cliche. ;)

    1. Christi,
      Such a funny story! I can just see you letting your little sister have it.

  5. I most definitely have a couple drama queen moments. They usually happen at the worst time. The first time was when I was driving cross country with my best friend. It was my first time leaving California. I was a very shelter Californian. I would complain about the littlest thing. It got to the point where my best friend was about to kill me and dumped the body somewhere in the middle of Texas. After the third week I started to relax and accept things as the are. The next time was when I was pregnant. I think everyone becomes a drama queen when they are pregnant. If not then there is something wrong or they are lucky. Well, my husband hurt my feelings, so I started to cry. He asked me why I was crying, I told him, "I don't know." But I knew and didn't want to tell him. The next pregnancy I went a little psycho when he hurt my feelings. I went crying in my room, but once I was done crying I told him if he ever did that again he will be sorry. Crazy pregnancy hormones.

    1. Melody,
      Pregnant women are entitled to drama. Al least that's what I told myslef when I was pregant.

  6. Of course, I have NEVER had my own drama queen moment! Heavens No! *wink* However, I have a "waning" friend in the neighborhood whose drama queen moments have been so numerous and ridiculous that I have had to slowly cut her loose. Thus the "waning" friend comment. I really don't ever lose my cool and I just cannot be around people who are constantly like that. They are so needy all the time that they simply suck the life out of you. My very wise son once told me to get rid of negative people out of my life and I have. I can honestly say life is much happier without these people around.

    Sorry, I really am a nice person! Don't run away! ;-)

    1. I'm sure you are, Connie! And you son is wise. I have had to step back from negative people but that is so hard sometimes.

  7. Pretty sure that one day a month I am a raging Drama Queen ... There is usually apologizing the day after.

  8. Too funny, Julie! Are you kidding me? I was a professional opera singer. I worked every day with drama queens! I, however, never stooped to DIVA behavior no matter how tiny my dressing room was or how cold and unpalatable the tea they brought me was.

    Well ... once. Just once. I was singing with a very talented tenor in Austria. The only problem was he KNEW how talented he was. He sang over my entrances, crossed in front of me and ordered the conductor to limit the beats of my high notes. This was during rehearsals and I knew it would be worse at the performances. The night of dress rehearsal he crossed in front of me singing his head off. I tripped him and pinned him to the floor with the lovely Georgian high heels from my costume. (I only weighed about 100 lbs at the time, but a Georgian high heel at just the right location WILL keep a good man (or a bad man) down.) I finished the duet and informed the conductor I refused to sing with a man who was a bigger *itch than me! Then I walked off the stage and left the theatre. I sang opening night with the tenor's understudy who received a standing ovation for his brilliant performance. Sometimes being a high flying drama queen is the only thing a woman has going for her. LOL :)