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Friday, February 22, 2013

You Know Who I'm Talking About...


Some people love their jobs, and some people hate their jobs, and some people love to make YOU hate their jobs. (Yes, that’s one more dig at power hungry TSA agents and local law enforcement, not that this is another one of THOSE blogs. I don’t fly again until April, though, so stay tuned.) No, today I’ve got a different target in my crosshairs – those men (because they’re always men) who love their jobs more than should legally be allowed in any state. (There are, of course, women in this profession, however, they always seem quite balanced.)

I don’t care if you live in New York City, Abilene Texas or Walla Walla, Washington. You’ve got one of these men in your area. I’m not sure why it’s always just ONE, but it is.  Perhaps there just isn’t enough oxygen in any given region for there to be two of them. This is actually a good thing. If there were two of them in a region, we might end up in some sci-fi paradox and the world would cease to exist. Each region gets only one. It’s some kind of law, I think.

You know who I’m talking about, don’t you?  A man who gets so excited about his job, it makes YOU a little uncomfortable watching him on TV in the privacy of your own home. I’m truly surprised more children don’t have nightmares about them like they do clowns because – honestly – they’re equally scary.

We got our first snowfall of the year a few weeks back. (I missed it as I was enjoying a nice cruise with Jerrica Knight-Catania and Catherine Gayle at the time. Yes, I’m rubbing it in.) Sometimes in Raleigh we only get one run-in with snow, sometimes we don’t get a run-in at all. So, I thought I’d missed all the wintery excitement this year, but I was wrong. We got a bit of snow this past weekend, and you’d think the world had come to a screeching halt. As Tes said earlier this week - in the south, the world shuts down for snow.  It’s just the way it is, and probably the way it will always be.

But that ONE man in our area always acts like the weather (whatever it may be) is THE singular most exciting, or scary event ever to occur. That’s right – I’m talking about your local weatherman. You know the one I mean. The ONE guy in your viewing area that gets a little wild-eyed and foamy about the mouth at the first sniff of cold air, or warm air, or wet air, or just about anything. This ONE guy loves his job more than everyone else in your viewing area combined loves theirs.

As I’ve said before – I’ve lived out West, the Midwest, the Southwest and now the Southeast.  And in each one of those places there was the ONE excitable weatherman who always seemed as though Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Mickey Mouse were waiting just off camera for him, waiting to high five him for his amazing delivery of the next day’s weathercast. He bounces a little too much in his shoes. He points at the map with a little too much vigor. And when he’s not  on the air, he LOVES breaking into scheduled programming at the drop of a hat.

He is your WEATHERMAN. The meteorologists at the other local networks are just pretenders, overshadowed by him. The other meteorologists at his own station are just poor substitutes until he’s back on the clock (always during primetime hours and occasionally in the morning, if he’s slumming it that day.)

And he totally and completely creeps me out.

Like I said, NO ONE SHOULD LOVE THEIR JOB AS MUCH AS THIS GUY DOES. Like it should be illegal in the lower 48. (I can see why someone might be excited about weather if they were in Hawaii or Alaska, but that’s beside the point.)  Instead of Santa Claus waiting off camera, I think there should be a psychiatrist waiting to administer a bit of valium as soon as he finishes his weather report. Being THAT excited cannot be good for his health, and it certainly isn’t good for MY mental health, and I’m just a viewer.

Watching him both exhausts and frightens me. I once found out I was attending the same boy scout event as our local WEATHERMAN, and I had to leave. Seeing him on TV is one thing, who knows what the man is capable of in real life!?! Honestly, I feel lucky to have gotten out alive.

What about you? What are your thoughts about your local crackpot…er…I mean…weatherman? Is he just as creepy as children's party clowns? Which one is scarier? Or is there someone even creepier than both, that I’ve somehow missed? 

29 comments:

  1. I'm wondering if I know which one you are talking about...because if it is...I dealt with him in a professional capacity..in my long ago profession, and he was not very pleasant!

    I'm with you on the clowns...they can be a little creepy..but I've never got the heebies from a weatherman! LOL!

    I'll tell you who does give me a little shiver...our new UPS man. Our old one was very friendly, if harried, as they are. The new guy has one of those An-Expression-Has-Never-Crossed-This-Face faces. shiver.

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    1. You have to know the one I'm talking about, Deb. Everyone here acts as though he is THE weather god/guru. (CBS affiliate) "Oh, what does G--- say about the snow?" As though he's the final authority. And he has a penchant for breaking into scheduled programming just to hear himself talk. A runner at the bottom of the screen will work just fine, thank you. More than once I've had the urge to punch him in the throat. If he really is unpleasant in real life, maybe someone WILL do that. ;) (not that I condone violence)

      You mentioned your UPS man. Creepy. Just seeing your An-Expression-Has-Never-Crossed-This-Face description makes me shiver too. Eww!


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  2. LOL. I don't watch the news, but we have Jennifer Livingston on our local morning show, so that's pretty cool. She's the newswoman who took on the bully and spoke out against bullying.

    A local guy that doesn't give me the creeps but makes me laugh is one of the grocery store guys. He's the one that puts groceries in the car when I use drive-up. He always says, "Have a nice day", but in a tone that says "F off". I don't think he could ever be accused of loving his job too much. :)

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    1. LOL, Samantha. I know the sort.

      I have to call a certain hotel on a fairly regular basis and get transferred to one department or another - sales, convention services, accounting, etc. Well, at this hotel whoever is working the front desk must be required to say it's her "pleasure" to transfer me because she says it each and every time with a sugary sweet voice. Even still, I highly doubt it's her "pleasure". If so, she must be the easiest to please woman in the world.

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    2. Hahaha... Or she has a very boring, unfulfilling personal life. :)

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  3. I know the type and we have one just like that! He is soooo in love with himself that it’s nauseating. His favorite words he always peppers his sentences with are: “as I told you.” He thinks he predicted something (and usually he didn’t) and always adds his words! That’s when my body automatically goes into the head spin/pea soup mode. AAARRRHGGGHHH! I’ve finally given up listening to his garbage because I feel that keeping my blood pressure at a normal level is more important. I’ll get better weather information online!!

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    1. Connie! "as I told you..." would totally drive me insane. And you are dead on with how in love with himself these men are. A love affair for one! ;)

      I'm with you... I try to get my weather other places to avoid having to watch this guy. (Love my iPhone) But when I hear other people act like he's the authority on the weather, it draws out my ire. ;)

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    2. Someone else who is in love with himself is Chris Harrison, the host of The Bachelor. This week the bachelor was joking that one of the girls did a better impression of Chris Harrison than Chris Harrison, and Chris didn't look pleased. He said, "No, she doesn't." *eye roll*

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    3. :) I've never seen the Bachelor - I'm not sure if I should be proud about that fact or not. :)

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  4. I don't watch the weather ever. My children's school sends out about a zillion weather school cast if there is ANY sort of inclement weather headed our way, so I feel covered. I tell you who creeps me out is my bug man. He's really nice, but he loves to tell stories about all the disgusting things he's seen when he goes to houses, and I'm usually ready to push him out the door after the second story.

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    1. LOL! Julie - you had me a "bug man". And now I'll be itchy the rest of the day. ;)

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  5. I don't watch the weather much either. My hubs is the weather watcher in our house and will fill me in whether I want him to or not. ;} So what sets me off? (Besides EVERYTHING) Those unbelievably horrible commercials for The General car insurance. Just hearing that music is enough to send me into a rage. I want to strangle myself when it comes on. Woe to the idiot who gave the okay for these commercials. If I ever meet them face to face....prison jumpsuit in my future!

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    1. Darn you, Andris Bear! Now I've got that "Go to the General and save some time" theme song pounding through my head.

      I would - however - bet $$ that your hubby watches this guy. A girl at work just said "I'll have to see what G--- says" as she was planning out her weekend and in particular what the weather will be for it. And a little part of my soul died. ;)

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    2. Oh, Ava, I'm so glad to hear you still have a soul! Baha....OMG. Did I just say that out loud? *Runs off in terror*

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  6. I happen to like that weatherman Ava :P I like that he's excited by his job. As opposed to the other stations guys who give you a report in a slow, monotone voice that you fall asleep to.

    I also happen to have been in college with one of the newer weather dudes at that station. It kinda creeps me out that someone I knew once upon a time is on TV. But not in the scary kinda way.

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    1. Beth, you WOULD like that weatherman. I am shaking my head at you. In fact, I'm at a loss for words. I simply cannot stomach him. Not even a little. YUCK. ;)

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  7. LOL Oh My GOD...this is so, so true. I thought I was the only one who felt this way. Especially because towns make these guys out to be local heroes, or something. (I say guys, because in the two states I've lived in, I've never seen a female meteorologist). And they always seem to be named Brad or Geoff; have you noticed that? If you've ever watched Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm", he's got it right. I believe the meteorologist's hype the weather depending on how much power they're searching for on a given day...or whether they want to clear off the golf courses. ; )

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    1. Christi - Our lunchtime weatherperson is a girl. She's been there several years now. So they are rare but do exist.

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    2. Christi ~ Thank you! You've lived in several places, so you've noticed it too, haven't you? I think if you've lived the same place, it just seems normal - but if you move from place to place you notice there's always ONE nutcase doing the weather in each market. ;)

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    3. Phew, Beth! So there ARE some out there. Imagine that?! Oh, and I've noticed it all right, Ava. Our CT meteorologist always brought his dog on air, putting that poor tiny thing on the table while he did weather. #nojoke

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    4. There are some female meteorologists - they all just seem rather mentally balanced. ;)

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  8. Oh LAWD. I know exactly who you are talking about, Ava. LOL! Yeah, he's way intense.

    Guess someone has to be excited about the weather, huh?

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  9. Great post!
    Christi when I was growing up in the city we had Frank Field who had Winston the Weather dog. a cute bulldog who looked decidedly not thrilled to be on camera.
    Then we got Al Roker.
    I always said I wanted to be a weatherman because at what other job could you be wrong 90% of the time and just blame it on the computer, and never get fired! And you could act crazy and no one cared!

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    1. Nancy! Some of us care if they act crazy. LOL.

      This is the second time today someone has mentioned weathermen displaying their dogs on camera. I've actually never seen that. Poor Winston the Weather dog. My heart goes out to him. ;)

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  10. I loved our weatherman growing up, because he always drew "Gusty, the Weatherman". If Gusty had an umbrella, it was going to rain. LOL. It's so lame now, but for a 4 year old, it was awesome!

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    1. I think only 4 year olds should be allowed to watch some weathermen. ;) Kind of like Yo Gabba Gabba. Some entertainment is not for adults. LOL!

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