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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Into the Wormhole

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--By Erin Knightley

So, some of you may have heard earlier this week that the earth tilted on its axis. Although I am a scientist by training, I will do my best to explain the root cause for this rather unexpected phenomenon in a way that any layman can understand.
You see, it all started with a Facebook post. Observe, Exhibit A:
“That moment, when you suddenly realize that Ralph Macchio is now the same age as Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid.”
Whhhaaaa???

I’ll pause here for those of you who are hearing this bit of news for the first time.    
*Folds hands and waits patiently* 
*discretely hands over a box of Kleenex*
Better now? No? Well, ME NEITHER!! What in the name of all that's sacred in this world is going on? Surely we have just stumbled upon some sort of freak tear in the time/space continuum, which has caused this wholly premature turn of events. Surely, SURELY the kid who stole no less than half the hearts of Gen-Xers (the other half belonging to men) is not older than Steve Carell is now, or worse, older than Rue MeClanahan was when she first appeared on Golden Girls. THE GOLDEN GIRLS!

I gotta be honest—I'm not handling this well. It's not that I think 51 is old—50's are the new 30's!—it's just that I can't possibly reconcile the fact that so much time has elapsed since he was going all flamingo-like on the bow of the boat, or resentfully waxing-on, waxing-off the lot full of old cars in Mr. Miyogi's backyard. 
You know, it's like that moment when you realize your friend's kid is old enough to drive, or your nephew is now tall enough to look down on you when you're standing side by side. Time, it just keeps marching on, does it not?
So, after the earth tilted and we all scrambled to reorient ourselves in a world where Mr. Miyagi is about to be Daniel-san's junior, I sat back and consoled myself with these three things:
1) The movie will always transport me back in time when I need a hit of nostalgia
2) My present is pretty darn awesome. I'm happy with the way I filled the intervening years
3) Ralph Macchio is still pretty darn adorable

Now, should any of these fail to be true sometime in the future, I'm sure you'll hear from me again. Fair warning ;) 

So tell me, who was your teen heartthrob? Did you ever have a moment when you realized he wasn't the young hunk you one fell in love with?
Now, I leave you with these wise, wise words:
Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything.  
*nods sagely*


40 comments:

  1. I always loved Matt Dillon and I think he aged well. One good thing is the heartthrobs we fell in love with as teens will always be older than us. That's less depressing to think about than the fact I could be the newest heartthrobs' mom. LOL

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    1. I agree - he's hardly changed at all! And amen to the 'always be older than us' point ;) Although, the question remains: if he was older than us then, but waaaay younger than us now (in the movie, that is), does that make us cradle robbers?? LOL

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  2. Shaun Cassidy from The Hardy Boys was one of my first crushes. Richard Dean Anderson of MacGyver was another and I still liked him on Stargate SG1.

    One of the first actors that made me realize time was passing was when David McCallum appeared as 'Duckie' on NCIS. He was hot when he played Illya on The Man From U N C L E. (A mid 1960s black and white TV spy show)

    The really big one that hit me a few years ago was when Bon Jovi turned 45. As Samantha said, at least they will always be older than me.

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    1. Oh, MacGyver, how I used to adore him :) Never mind that I was 6 and he was 30 - just LOOK what he could do with duct tape and a paper clip!

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  3. I'm still floored over this one. It doesn't seem possible.

    My heartthrob? Pretty much every guy who was in The Outsiders. But now Patrick Swayze is dead, Tom Cruise is crazy, Ralph Macchio is as old as Mr. miaggi...

    It's weird looking back at it now.

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    1. Well, if we didn't all feel old before, we sure do now! LOL.

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  4. Christian Slater was a big crush for me. And wow, I can't even look at pictures of him now without crying. He didn't age that well. Neither did Cary Elwes. Johnny Depp is doing okay, I suppose, and Keanu Reeves looks fantastic for his age. Leonardo DiCaprio looks good, DEPENDING on what role he's playing. Sometimes he gets all Marlon-Brando-in-the-Godfather, and that's just ew. Hmmm. Who else?

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    1. I loved Christian Slater. Reminds of the line from Red - where Bruce Willis tells Mary-Louise Parker about John Malkovich not looking bad for being fed LSD for 10 years. CS doesn't look bad for the drugs, alcohol, and jail time.

      Last time I saw him, Kiefer Sutherland wasn't looking bad. But I'm not sure I've seen him on the screen in the last few years.

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    2. Meh - Slater never did do it for me. He always has that 'I'm a jerk' look about him going on. As for Cary Elwes - I wish he would have had the decency to make the movie and go into hiding so he could ALWAYS be Wesley in our eyes! Although, I did rather like his debonair art thief character on Psyche...

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  5. Geez, Ralph is even older than I am - wow. And thank you, Erin, for saying 50's are the new 30's considering how close I am to a certain number - lol. My teen heartthrob would have been John Travolta.

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    1. LOL - I think I am juuuuust young enough to have missed the Travolta lovefest. All I see is chin when I look at him!

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  6. Beth, I loved the Hardy Boys too, but my crush was Parker Stevenson. Boy do I feel old. I remember reading those Tiger Beats wih Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy on the covers. Yikes. I think I'll go see if I need to dye my hair now. :P

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    1. LOL, Nancy. I actually never really knew who David Cassidy was until I read a book on tape about this British girl and how her obsession with him ended up bringing about a terrible set of events. It was based on the actual events of the concert where the girl was trampled to death.
      Well, that was much more morbid than I intended! Sorry about that - it was a great book, really!

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  7. My getting old moment happened in the grocery just the other day. I was buying groceries and the basket included a bottle of wine. My daughter was standing next to me. The lady asked, jokingly I might add, if I was old enough to buy the alcohol. I looked my the no longer little girl next to me and realized that SHE is old enough to buy it! ACK!

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    1. OMG - Now that would be a crazy moment!! Good thing you're rocking the hot-mom thing :)

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  8. I don't mind the men of my youth getting older. I find it more disturbing to see a cute guy, and then find out he was BORN in the 80's. THAT makes me feel old. And a bit cougar-ish.

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    1. LOL! I work every now and then at a jewelry store, and nothing freaks me out quite like helping a guy born in the 90's pick out an engagement ring!

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  9. I thought Rick Springfield was pretty hot when I was in High School--not becuase of GH, which I didn't watch, but because of "Jessie's Girl"! He is in his 60s now, but I think, still hot!

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    1. Yep - Rick has definitely been in the 'good aging' category! And great, now I'm going to have that song in my head the whole day!

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    2. I loved "Jessie's Girl"!!! Rick Springfield had it going on. He's not too bad now either. He was a guest star on one of the Showtime shows. At least I think it was Showtime.

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  10. Whaaaaaaaa. That's crazy talk, Erin.

    I was a massive Corey Feldman fan. I even wrote a story about a fangirl who he fell in love with. No, that wasn't wishful thinking. Nope. Not at all.

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    1. You know, to this day I couldn't tell you which was Cory Haim and which was Corey Feldman, lol. I LOVE that you wrote a story with him!

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  11. Ooh, I loved Eric Stolz. I saw him in that BSG spin-off, Caprica, and thought he aged pretty well.

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    1. I just had to google him, lol. He has had quite a full career! And you're right - there not much difference in the pictures, despite covering 3 decades!

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  12. Wow. I've had to take the whole day to compose myself. I try not to think of these things, put my head in the sand and pretend time isn't flying by.

    Even though he wasn't a teen in the 80's I loved Bruce Willis in Moonlighting (and his Seagram's Golden Wine Cooler commercial. Why do I remember that??) Now? I console myself that they say he is the only 80's action star that can still bring in the box office.

    Johnny Depp in his 21 Jump Street days. Patrick Swayze for sure. I also had a small 90210 obsession. I'm don't think Luke Perry and Jason Priestly were heart throbs for me, but I definitely look at them and say "what happened?"

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    1. I think it may have something to do with the fact that they were like 30 year olds playing teenagers, so now they seem much older! But boy, did I love that show too. And yeah, I'm okay with good old Bruce - the guy definitely is hanging in there!

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  13. You know what I have to say that I loved Rob Lowe and he has aged well. I think I fell in love with him in the Outsiders. *sigh*

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    1. Yes, Rob Lowe has aged very, very well! I just saw him on Parks and Rec and thought the exact same thing. St. Elmo's Fire, baby! LOL

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    2. I saw him on The Talk and thought "wow, he looks good." Yep, still have a crush on him.

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    3. Oh yes, playing the sax in St. Elmo's Fire! He was a good one too. :-)

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    4. He always seemed a bit smug to me, but he sure did look nice! Still does, too :)

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  14. OMG I don't know if this is hysterically funny or devastatingly depressing! And yes, Ralph Maccio will always be a hottie. When I was a kid, my heart-throb was Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains. I used to get copies of those teen magazines and carefully rip out those beautiful pages. Even now, if you read my books some character (usually a hero) has a slight curl to his dark hair. "sigh" I must admit this goes back to the roots of my girlhood crush.
    Oh and since we've mentioned Rob Lowe....he he also getting better with age. Like Robert Downey Jr. Rob Lowe is brilliant in Parks and Rec!

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    1. Kirk Cameron! Ha - Now there's someone I haven't thought of in a loooong time :) He sure was a cutie though.

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  15. Ok this is really going to peg my teen age years, but it was and still is the New Kids on the Block. With their recent comeback I've been able to relive it all over LOL.

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    1. Oh yes, who didn't love NKOTB? I remember them most clearly from the 1 season of forced cheerleading my mom made me do. We had to dance to one of their songs, and I must have heard it a 100 times!

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  16. Ralph is the age Mr. Miyagi was in the film?! Forget old, I feel A-N-C-I-E-N-T. Thanks Erin. ;} My crush was Donnie Wahlberg. Yes, I had a thing for the "bad" boy of the group.

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    1. Lol. Of course you would pick him. I personally liked Jordan Knight.

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    2. You can have Donnie - I'll take his brother Mark!!

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  17. I think I almost died when Ralph M. went on Dancing with the Stars a couple of years back and they kept making a big deal about his age. I think he was 47 or something at the time. Whaaaaa?

    I remember when Will Smith's THe Fresh Prince of Bel-Air first came on. He's 44 now. *whimper*

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    1. I'll never forget when Will started going grey. HOW DARE YOU SIR?? He was supposed to stay fresh forever ;)

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