This is me when I still had my Zen.
Now, my Zen is gone. Or at least the part that says my body is together with my mind and spirit. About a month ago, I tweaked my back, and having a hectic schedule, I decided I was too busy to actually go to the doctor. Sometimes this can be good because eventually whatever ailment you have will often heal itself.
Not this time. As the month has gone on, my back has gotten worse. It started with a dull ache. Sitting for very long makes it worse. Kind of a problem when you are a writer! My husband blamed my chair at my desk, so I tried perching on a giant exercise ball. My trainer told me this would be good for my abs and probably help my back. So far, my abs look exactly the same, and my back hurts worse! Sigh.
I’ve tried self-medicating, so to speak. In the last month I have faithfully gone to hot yoga, flow yoga, long-hold-pose yoga (I’ll spare you the actual strange names of the classes). Let’s just say there is not a yoga class out there that I have not tried. My back did seem to be feeling a bit better, if you consider that I could bend forward without wanting to scream.
Yet since I was not my usual rubber band flexible self, I decided something else needed to be done. Someone in one of my yoga classes suggested I needed a deep tissue massage. So off to be deeply massaged I went. I took my high expectations with me. I’d been warned that deep tissue massages hurt. Saying a deep tissue massage hurts is an understatement. I have bruises from getting my bad juju released. (Or supposedly released, in my case since my back hurt worse afterwards).
Next in the search of healing my body to come back in line with my mind and spirit, I took myself to the Chiropractor. I have never been to a Chiropractor, but several people I hold great respect for, informed me a Chiropractor had really helped them at one time or another. I met with the doctor on Monday. He put me on his table, and after a minute he told me I was out of alignment. I have to admit I was happy to hear it. I am an answer girl. If I have a problem, I feel much better if I can know the cause and create a plan-of-attack to fix it.
The doctor cracked my back in about a thousand places. Then he twisted me this way and that. Once he was done he told me I should feel all better. I had a brief moment where I did feel almost totally better, and when I say brief, I mean about five minutes of no pain, and then my elusive Zen darted out the door and out of my reach. My back pain came back bit by bit as the day went on. By Tuesday night, it was bad!
Yet, I’m a fighter. I dutifully rolled myself on three different kinds of balls to help loosen my muscles, took two Ibuprofen, and put myself to bed, after putting my kids to bed, of course. When I woke yesterday morning, I had to roll out of bed! Where oh where is my healthy body? My spirit and mind are still here, but my body has deserted me. But I shall prevail!
I rolled myself out of bed yesterday morning to go get my hair done. After all, I may feel awful, but I don’t want to look awful. At my hairdresser, I started talking, okay complaining, about my back. Low and behold, my hairdresser has had back problems for years. He referred me to his spine doctor who I'm going to see tomorrow. Wish me luck. I hope I leave intact in mind, body and spirit, or if not totally intact I hope I have a plan to find that missing piece of my Zen.
Have you ever had a chronic pain? If so, did you go with modern medicine or did you employ other methods to fix your ailment?
Have a great day!