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Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Jeans and Shoes: I'm Normal, Right?


I asked Tall Man, my husband, what I should blog about today. His answer? "How many pairs of jeans you have."

Me: "Hahahahaha. Cheeky." Pause. "Actually that's not a bad idea."

Jeans
So I went and counted my jeans. They're my uniform, you see. I'm one of those weirdos who likes to shop for them. I love the color and cut and the way they fit. The way a really amazing pair can make you look and feel better about yourself. You can dress 'em up fantastically for a night out with the girls, or wear the pair to Starbucks that are three sizes too big with the hole worn in the butt.

I really don't think ten pairs of jeans are enough, when it comes down to it. I mean, I'm a stay at home mom and a full-time author who rarely does laundry. I need more, right?

The Jeans Ambassador
When I worked in an office with only eight other employees--only three of whom were in the office at any given time--I lobbied my boss for a Jeans Welcome Everyday policy. And I totally won. 

Shoes
Now the number of pairs of shoes I own? I will admit it's slightly ridiculous, for the same reasons named above. There is no purpose to me buying platforms that make me six inches taller (except to dance with Tall Man). Why I own two pairs of nude pumps is beyond me. Or lavender Prada Mary Janes (for serious ... though I did not pay anywhere near full price for them).

I also live in a mid-last-century house with the world's smallest closets. The one in my bedroom is maaaaaybe two and a half feet wide and is absolutely packed, so I've taken to appropriating the one in the guest bedroom. I just did a purge of that closet and managed to throw away five pairs of shoes (that hurt, it really did) and separated out three I'm going to take to a consignment shop, because they're good brands in excellent condition.

So now I'm down to forty pairs of shoes, boots, pumps, sandals and flip flops. All of which have some sort of heel (at least three inches) besides the flip flops and my workout sneakers.

I'm normal, right? RIGHT??!!


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21 comments:

  1. Hanna,
    Too funny! My husband would give you a run for your money. He loves jeans and shoes. It's a running joke that when he comes in all excited about something new he's purchased I say, "Let me guess... Another pair of brown boots?" Seriously, the dude has about 20 pairs of brown boots! Granted, they all look slightly different, but not enough that he needs that many.

    I totally get the smallest closets dilemma. Our last house was mid-last-century too. I love the older houses, but they definitely had small closets. The house we have now was built in the 50s, and we still don't have large closets, but we have a lot of them. :)

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    1. Men who shop make me smile.

      I'm still astounded that women who wore those huge dresses in the 50s and 60s could actually make do with these teensy closets. Did they own, like, two dresses??

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  2. Hanna,

    I make life decisions based on jeans. I lobbied my employer for an every day jeans policy and lost. I'm still bitter. But when an opportunity came for me to manage an off-site office inside a client's space - the fact that the client WAS jeans everyday friendly sealed the deal. Not a lot of people know that, but it's true. I picked my current job because I could wear jeans everyday. I love jeans. I don't have 10 pairs though. ;)

    As for shoes... I'm not "mathy" but I'm pretty sure I can't count as high as the number of shoes that I own. ;)

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    1. o YAY another shoe person!

      That's so awesome about the jeans-work policy. I would totally do the same thing.

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  3. I do believe I am your polar opposite, Hanna! LOL. I have 2 pairs of jeans that fit (that being the key), and about 15 pairs of shoes. I only *wear* about 6 pair, but I'm not giving away the uncomfortable shoes I wore to my grandfather's funeral, or the too-small pair I got engaged in.
    Now, if we were talking about luggage? Oh, honey, do I have that covered! Definitely my real weakness!

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  4. Luggage! Haha--that's so unique. What's your favorite brand/piece? (hmmm future blog post)

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    1. Swiss Army Victorinox Travel Werks collection - I have 6 gorgeous green pieces, plus a dozen different packing cubes of all shapes and sizes. I also have a few other pieces of green luggage, but they pale in comparison ;) And yes - I WANT MORE!

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    2. Here's my question...if you pack in a single carry-on, why do you need 6 pieces? Lol. And more importantly, why would you need more?

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  5. Hmmm... I have five pairs of jeans, none of which fit me any longer. I'll buy more when I've dropped another size. :)

    I own more shoes now than I have at any other point in my life...but I have less than ten pairs, including two pairs of water shoes that I alternate to do my water jogging. Lol. Shoes have never been a thing for me.

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    1. I suppose it's a good thing the jeans don't fit because you're dropping sizes? :) (and go you!)

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  6. I almost feel terribly ashamed to admit that I hate jeans...I, to my husband's consternation, am a sweatpants girl. Now if we were to talk sweats...I have fancy sweats, casual sweats, college sweats, the list goes on and on. I have so many, I can't count and also caused my sister to nominate me once for that Makeover show. Fortunately for me, they didn't seem to think that sweatpants addiction is a major fashion faux pas?

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    1. HAHAHAHAHAHA you got nominated for a makeover show because of sweatpants? I think we'd alllll be in trouble over that.

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  7. I love jeans and own 6 pair. I think I might have 10 to 15 pairs of shoes. I'm not really into them. Either I wear sneakers or flip flops or nothing because I go nowhere but the house.

    My husband owns more pairs than I do because he now dresses up for management and needs colored dress shoes in addition to all his 'sport' shoes (baseball, golf, and bowling)

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    1. Healthy numbers on both accounts, I'd say.

      I do go out (which is how I justify the crazy shoes) but not nearly enough to justify their numbers.

      Delete
  8. I live in Florida so jeans are out for me which is wonderful because I cannot stand wearing them! I live in shorts and FitFlops. Oh yes, I occasionally add a top for the sake of propriety! ;-)

    I just weeded out my closet and got rid of tons of stuff. I have some shoes that need to be pitched too. Just gave my sister two pairs of dressy Etienne Aignor shoes I had worn once or twice. Hate them! Since I’ve retired, it’s so nice to not have to worry about getting dressed up all the time.

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    1. Yes, I'd imagine being retired is incredibly freeing in terms of wardrobe. Since I live in the cold north, every year when it gets warm and I wear flipflops for the first time, my feet and toes get really sore because they're not used to them.

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  9. As normal, I guess, as someone who's obsessed with yoga pants. I literally will not tell you how many I have. And it's just wrong to ask. But hello, 1) I work this here butt HARD and yoga pants, well, they're altars to the butt. 2) you can totally sleep, run, read, write, eat, dance, do whatever in them.
    The only problem is that no shoes go with them. Hmm, which brings us to problem 2. Um. Yes, every girl does need forty shoes, even if you love yoga pants which call for bare feet.

    Sonali

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    1. I'm totally there with you, Sonali. I love yoga pants, and bare feet is just fine for me. Too bad I live in a place that gets snow part of the year. :)

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    2. Someone needs to write a book called "Altar To The Butt"

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    3. Someone writes every book with that working title :)

      Samantha, me too. fortunately, socks go with yoga pants too! Yay!

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  10. Hanna,
    I loved jeans shopping...when I had a nice booty to shove into them. ;} I no longer have said backside and therefore feel JEANS ARE THE DEVIL! Ahem. At least, shopping for them. I loathe jeans shopping. It's right up there with swimsuit shopping. *shudders*
    Shoes are a totally different matter! Bring 'em on, baby!

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