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Monday, July 8, 2013

When Writers Marry Writers by Robin Delany

Another no holds barred cage match, or is it?

I've shared the crazy that is Toddlerland, now I want to discuss the other part of my life that brings me joy and pain all at once. Today I want to list the five best (and five worst) parts of having a writer spouse. As with a really great story, I like to start with the dark and painful and end with the happy ending, so let's delve right in, shall we?

The 5 worst things about having a writer for a spouse...

5 – Great minds rarely think alike
Have you ever read judges comments on a contest entry? Or checked out a heated "discussion" at a writer's blog? Then you know that writers can vehemently disagree about simple things when it comes to methods of writing and such. Well, if a husband is a pantser, and a wife is a plotter, trust me, the fists can fly.

4 – Advertising for two
Money for advertising has to be split between two people, and when each one has a new release coming up, it can lead to a heck of an arm wrestling match.

3 – The Countess and the Dragon
My husband writes a lot of paranormal, and I'm a historical/contemporary romance lover at heart. Whenever he reads a sex scene, he keeps asking when the hero/heroine is going to turn into a werewolf.

2 – War and Peace (and quiet)
Quiet writing time comes at a premium. Some nights you have to resort to a dinner fork battle over who watches the kids so the other can write.

The number one worst thing about being married to a writer is . . .

1 – Critique overload
You know you’re married to a writer when they get so used to critiquing your work they even critique the holiday cards.

And the 5 best things about having a writer for a spouse...

5 – Punching bags and stage props
If you ever want to know if something will work for your love/fight scene, you have a ready-made prop/model. You just have to be sure you don’t get the two mixed up.

4 –  You think, I think, we all think differently
You have a constantly available brainstorming partner with an entirely different point of view. If you are stuck, sometimes they can help you get out of the hole you've written yourself into.

3 –  Crazy ideas
They are often willing to help with projects that are a little bit crazy. For example, I recently started vlogging, and I wanted to be sure the content would be fun and informative. My husband has played several parts during my vlogs, including an insistent director and a dialect coach with very little personal understanding of proper dialects. The next big part he'll play? Stalker. Keep watch on my channel, if you want to see what I mean.

2 – Understanding
They understand the unique terms and ideas behind writing. When you tell them your characters are talking to you, they don't call the mental hospital.

And the number one best thing about being married to a writer is. . .

1 - Beyond understanding
They know what really goes into your work, and they understand the importance. When you get an agent/contract/award, they will cheer the loudest. When you need time to write, or get cranky because you haven't had any, they understand. And when you desperately need a piece of paper to write down an idea, they help you find a receipt and a pen.

Having a writer for a husband can be both wonderful and difficult, but all in all, I believe having my own personal hero and knowing I'm his heroine is fantastic, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

What does your spouse/partner do for a living? What are the drawbacks and perks of having a spouse with that profession?

To learn more about Robin and to see more of her great vlogs, you can visit her at the following places:

YouTube | Robin Delany Website | Blog | Twitter | Facebook 


  1. Hi, Robin.
    It's great to have you back at Lady Scribes and to start my day with a chuckle. :)

    My hubby is a psychologist. The perks are he's smart, easy to talk to, and he's good at helping our kids deal with problems. Plus, it's mostly entertaining when he analyzes my dreams. The downside is sometimes I don't want to understand why someone is being a jerk. I just want to be mad. Then he takes my side and it's all better. :)

    1. He must be awesome when it comes to characters with flaws and tough backgrounds. My hubby has a tendency to see the other persons side too--sometimes it's because he really does have great insight into people, and sometimes because he just loves to play devil's advocate. :/

    2. Oh, man! I hate when people play devil's advocate. There are lots of them at work. They always start their sentences with "I'm going to push back a little", which is code for "I'm going to be a first rate pain in the neck because I can." ;D

  2. Hey Robin!

    My Scientist is...Well a physicist who dabbles in chemistry. He is always trying to find a scientific solution to any problem that I have and I'm forever telling him the creative process can't be boiled down to a lab experiment. If you have 1 hour of brainstorming + 2 hours of peaceful writing and... "There's no perfect formula for a bestseller! It's organic. It has to happen naturally. Leave me alone!"

    But I love him with all my heart. :)

    1. Lol. Men are always trying to find a magic formula, aren't they? A+B=Bestseller.
      It's wonderful to have a man who wants you to succeed, though.

  3. LOL. This is great, Robin. Thanks for coming back to join us. :)

    I don't have a spouse, so I don't really have anything for you here.

  4. LOL Robin! So cute! I love it! My hubby was a military man and is now searching for a new career and going to school for computer tech. The benefits are that I always feel safe. He helps me plan out and choreograph my fight scenes and he's taught me how to protect myself with a weapon and without. The drawbacks are that he rolls his socks (Any military wife will understand what I mean. But instead of folding socks, they roll them to make more space in the drawer) and I just toss mine into the drawer! Who in the world rolls their socks??? It's not like your socks can get wrinkled. Ugh, and I've finally got him out of the habit of getting up at the crack of dawn on the weekends.

    1. Lol. I guess if rolling his socks gives him more room, it makes sense. I wish I could get my husband to put his socks in the sock drawer, instead of whichever one is emptiest. That crack of dawn thing would kill me though. :D

  5. LOL! I don't know if I could handle it if my hubby wrote - there is enough crazy in this house with just me! Too cute :) Thanks so much for joining us today, Robin!

    1. It can be a little crazy making, from time to time. It can be awesome too though. Thanks for commenting.

  6. Welcome back to LS, Robin!

    My hubby and I met when we were both performers, so I totally know what you mean. We did the musical theater circuit together, after attending conservatory together as well. So much of what you talk about applies.

    Now, we have separate ventures, but hubby is well read and a marketing guru, so he's a great help with my writing, in all aspects. I actually wish he would write, because I think it would be fun, but he says he has no interest. Time will tell... ;)

    1. Wow. I'd imagine that you two must have had lots of fun then. Sounds like he's lots of help on the marketing front too. that's great, because marketing can be one of the hardest things about this business. IMO.

  7. Hello, hello. Sorry for the late pop in, but our usual oil change place closed and we wound up driving an extra half an hour to get to the other one. Ahh the fun of being an adult, eh?

  8. So hilarious and awesome. Particularly since not only did I not marry a writer ... I didn't even marry a READER. OY.

    1. Oy is right! LOL. But on the bright side, you don't have to fight over bookshelf space. ;D

    2. Oh boy. Well, at least all the allotted book funds go toward your books. lol

  9. LOL I'll have to keep this in mind when I do plan look for a mate. :D

    1. Always something to take into consideration. :D Thanks for stopping by.