Sorry, correction. I have a huge theory I’ve long held. Many women my age live in a Cinderella induced state of unrealistic expectations.
Blame it on our culture. Blame it on Barbie. Lay the blame at Disney’s feet, if you wish. Wherever you place the blame, it doesn’t change my theory that many women, NOT ALL, think that their husbands /significant others should make them exquisitely and perfectly happy.
Heck, I’m romance writer and a self-proclaimed upholder and weaver of the Spousal Expectation Myth. Let’s face it, most people want their romance to end with a happily ever after.
What happens when your story doesn’t end with happily ever after? Hey, are you listening? Come closer, because I have the answer for you. A story that doesn’t have a perfect, never-a-complication ending is called REAL LIFE.
Several days ago I sat in a large group of women all relaying various stories about how their husbands made them unhappy. The stories all had a different twist. One schlep never took out the garbage unless asked. Another lazy caveman couldn’t seem to get that a full dishwasher only gets clean if you run it.I know, I know. You relate. Another candidate for cruddy-husband-of-the-year actually ate the Thanksgiving dinner his wife had slaved for two days cooking and then when the meal was over he went and sat on the couch while demanding pie as the wife stared in mounting, semi-close to murderous, frustration at the dishes.
Needless to say the husband didn’t get his requested pie, but he did get a verbal lashing I’ll never forget, and I’m sure, since he was actually there, he won’t forget either.
This conversation got me thinking that we, and I include myself, women are actually a bit to blame for our unhappiness with our husbands/significant others. We need to discard ourselves of the belief that someone else can make us happy. The only person who can really make you happy is yourself. Other people add to your happiness or take away from it, whichever way the river flows that day, but ultimately each of us is individually responsible for our happiness.
Living under the Spousal Expectation Myth is not healthy. There are no happily ever after’s except in movies and books. If your life never experienced frustrations you’d get no joy from the upswings. If you're married or in a relationship think about this today. Instead of concentrating on what your significant other does today that irks you think about what they do today that brings you joy. But above all remember, you have the power to make yourself happy. Don’t look to others. Look within yourself and don’t forget if you are unhappy you have the power to make a change.
Have you debunked a myth in your life? If so, I'd love to hear about it!